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Seeing the Light

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Wednesday, 23 August 2006

Posted by: Honeyface on Tuesday, August 23, 2005


I have been suffering with anxiety for the past 30 plus years. For a very long time I kept this information to myself, even my husband who I had been married to for seven years at the time didn't know.

For years I o­nly had to deal with "mild" anxiety, but then all of the sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so bad that I was sure I was going to die.  I knew that my older daughter (7 or 8 at the time) would come home from school and there I would be dead o­n the floor from a heart attack.

I ended up in the emergency room sure I was having a heart attack. They took every imaginable test there was - guess what?? I was fine. OK maybe not my heart now I was o­n to bigger and worse things - MS, brain tumor, going crazy. I think I have seen about every kind of specialist there is out there. None could find anything wrong with me.

I have been seeing a Christian counselor for the past couple of months and have been making some progress. I am depending more o­n the Lord's strength and less o­n mine. I am also learning to "give in" to the feelings of anxiety. It is amazing how much we fight that feeling and the more we fight the worse the symptoms seem to be.

My doctor asked me "What are you afraid of?" I said "I don't know - cracking up I guess" He said the nice thing about that is I would never be aware of cracking up! Good point. Anyway, it takes some doing and with God I know I can do it.

With God all things are possible.
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