My life

Thursday, 13 August 2009

Hello All

My name is Andrea and I've been suffering panic attacks since my first son was born, (feb 2004) it has taken me a long time to realise this is when they started.  I have read a few sites on panic attacks and I use the tools I've read to help me control my pa's.  At this present time I've been in pa mode since sat it is now Thurs.  This is by far the worst I have experienced and I feel like I'm in a war in my head telling myself I'm fine I'm not going to drop dead any minute, I'm at home I don't understand why I'm having one.  Anyway back to my story.  I had my first panic attack on my way to Donnington Rock festival, I really did'nt think anything of it at the time got my self calmed down and although I was 2 hours late I still got there.

My panic attacks intensified when I lost my son to respirtory failure in Nov 2007, my son suffered from cerebral palsy. On New Years Day 2008 I tried to kill myself, but almost instantly realised my son would'nt want this and I had another son I had to live for, since then I've worried about everything.  I worry about dying, I worry about my other son, I lost my mum in Mar this year and she was my rock the one who kept me going.  I dealt with mums death pretty well as I saw it as she was with Jacob and he was no longer on his own there.  I lost my job because I could'nt cope with the thought of having another panic attack.  I have now been diagnosed wiith an arythmia due to the amount of stress I have been under. My doc put me on citralopram on sat I took my first one and my last, oh my god I have never known panic like it I read up on the side affects and I have had nearly every one.  I stopped taken them and contacted my doctor who said the one tablet I had taken would stay in my system a couple of days, I'm now onto my 6th day and the vomiting never stops nor the agitation.  I receive counselling and yesterday I thought I can't go but I forced myself and yes I had a panic attack in her office, I left the room went to the bathroom and within a couple of minutes I was ok, it was still there but I had control.  I've been feeling panicky since sat and don't know whether it is the tablet I took or whether I just can't calm myself down.  I have an appointment today and I'm panicking at the thought of having another one whilst there.  There;s no bathroom I can run too this time, although my hubby said he would come with me.  I don't know whether to take a diazapan b4 I go to calm me cos it may freak me out too.  Anyway I'm rambling now and little one wants to play dinosaurs urgh!

Comments (2)add comment

Irish said:

This counselor you saw where you had a panic attack in her office, what was her response or action? Is she a psychiatrist? If not try and get a referral to one. This is VERY important as they understand the situation you're in better than anyone and they can prescribe proper drugs to take as opposed to a regular Doctor who just guesses and doesn't have a clue to what's good for you. Your panic attacks will go down if you do this. I speak from experience. In fact, I have dealt with anxiety disorder for 47 years. It's gets better not worse as time goes on, but try what I said and get yourself off to a good start. Good luck..Ed
August 19, 2009
Votes: +1

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Last Updated ( Saturday, 15 August 2009 )