Posted by: sherror on January 06, 2005

When I was 22 (1992) my husband started working the night shift. I started having panic attacks not knowing what they were. I would call my sister and she would talk to me until I the panic subsided. Shortly after that I became sick and my ears were badly clogged up. I was having terrible panic attacks but still didn't know what they were. Finally after a week with almost no sleep and breaking down crying to my mother she rushed me to my doctor’s office and he put me o­n Xanax. After I got better the panic went away. Little did I know it was o­nly the beginning.

Years later (1997) when my first child was 2 yrs old, I had what we call my "nervous breakdown". I began to have flashbacks from my childhood more and more. I had terrible nightmares. I had panic attacks so often that it was like they were rolling o­n top of o­ne another without end. I couldn't leave my house; I would have an attack just from o­ne of my family members coming by my house. I felt totally numb and dead inside except for the depression. It was like a huge weight o­n me. I wasn't even living anymore. I was literally just existing. My doctor put me o­n Prozac but it had a bad affect o­n me and made my panic worse.

I began to see a family friend who was a Christian Counselor. He saved my life. He not o­nly was my lifeline, but he helped me forgive and let go of a past full of hurts. He counseled me twice a week for 6 months and never charged me a dime. He passed away a few months ago from cancer but I will never forget what he did for me. It took me about a year to get back o­n my feet from the breakdown, o­nly having occasional panic attacks.

When my second child was about 6 months old (2001) the panic hit hard again. I was in a state of constant panic it seemed. I was in such bad shape that I couldn't care for myself much less a baby. I ended up huddled in a chair and wouldn't move except to go to the bathroom. My husband knowing my history and having spent many a night awake and holding my hand, got me to the doctor quick. He eventually diagnosed me with panic disorder, with depression. He put me o­n an antidepressant and klonopin. Within 3 days I felt immediate relief. I was back to work the next week.

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Irish said:

	... Well written blog. I really enjoyed it and related to it as well. You mentioned at the end about God. One of the great mysteries of Christianity and there are many of course is a quote I will always remember. I will never understand it as I am human, but I do accept it as you did. He said.."The more I make you suffer, the more I love you." I guess we have a blessing and not a curse....Ed
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September 14, 2009
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HSpence said:

	self-assessment meds do help control the problem but it doesn't solve it countless visits to the doc have helped me manage but there's a cure check out this video and see if this is what you really have it will not cost you a dime to do self-assessment http://bit.ly/gtccFB
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February 20, 2011 | url
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a guest said:

	... How did you find it in yourself to forgive your mom? My dad was the same way when I was little, and I still feel panicked at certain times when I see him or talk to him. Like you said- flashbacks.
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October 07, 2011
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harryrock said:

	... All I can say is well done for being able to share your exeprience with us. Interesting comment from our friend the quuest.
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February 29, 2012 | url
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