lately I have been getting out of my box..putting myself out there. giving the world a chance. because the world hurt me before a million times. for the longest time i was isolating myself from being hurt..from feeling..or for whatever.
lexapro made me numb as hell. and i loved it. i loved the feeling of not caring and just being there and not flinching. lexapro gave me that feeling which was heaven. it made me so numb that i couldn't feel anything anymore.
after 2 years on lexapro, I had to switch to cymbalta. Lexapro had complicated things for my bleeding problem/etc. so I had to swtich to cymmbalta.
thank god no bad effects on cymbalta..ive been on it for a year or almost..and i am 100% ok i guess..no attacks, no anxiety, my depression sort of faded.
a month ago..went out of my comfort zone finally. the dark days were behind me...but i got burned 2 or 3x. i got disappointed. but i forgot how it felt to be depressed. i know i am headed back there from the incidents that have been happening these past weeks..i gave people a chance to prove myself wrong on my perspective..but i got my answer today. and i won. i was right.
i waiting for the fall. but nothing. which is annoying me because i would rather feel pain like before.
im really hating cymbalta now.
do i make sense?
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tsuki
said:
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... It often happens to those who have been surviving anxiety or depression for awhile. We get used to having them as our constant companions. At least we knew how to react with them. Without them to dictate how we should feel makes us uncomfortable. Rejoice in the fact that Cymbalta is working well for you and allowing you the chance to regain control of your life. Kudos to you for putting stepping outside your comfort zone. Sorry you result was not as anticipated. Not having those experiences affect you negatively is a giant step in the right direction. As you learn to handle situations that previously would have left you depressed, you can look forward to ridding yourself of meds in the future. It takes getting used to and some work, but living life free from depression is priceless! Look forward to living life at it should be. Wishing you success in reaching that goal . . . hugs :) |
