had a shrink session today.
discussion was same as always. how am i,ok i guess.(but in reality blah)and then we started to talk..some parts of the times that i would explain stuff i would be in the verge of tears..2x that time.but i compose myself as fast as ever trying to hold back everything.
and yet nothing.
i just get some meaningless reflections and he tells me to ponder. he gives me some tips on how to overcome. things that are "medically accurate".
and my session again ends 30 mins when I am really paying for an hour.
he asks if i have anything else in my mind..of course i have heaps!(but i shrug and say no)-obviously. and the session ends.
am i suppose to feel better? the session only taught me one thing: not to be defensive during fights with people i love, and just to reflect and ponder on the statements they make about me. thats it.
my verge of tears part = a sign to show my doctor that i have pain. emotionally.
but i get nothing.
see you next month!
i don't know what to think anymore. i just keep stuff deep deep deep inside.
i just want a doctor to dig deep. dig deep and get into the real pain.
haven't found one yet :/
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Loves October
said:
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... When you do get to the pain, it gushes out and things get better. I speak from experience. |
NoJackLikeKerouac
said:
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... I would suggest perhaps finding a new doctor. I went through several therapists before I found one that was helpful in the way that I had hoped. Each doctor has a different approach to the work they do, so finding one that helps you the way you wish they would, may take trial and error. The last therapist I had seemed to understand anxiety, of course he never talked about his personal life, well nothing too deep anyway, but I could tell by how we spoke of panic attacks and depression that he had been through it all. That alone helped me. Our sessions were less like analysis and more like conversations. Of course he guided me, and tried to pull out of me what I have trouble really understanding. But it was less, well ponder this, and how do you feel about that, than my previous experiences with therapy. It seems to me that your doctor, though as good as his job as he may be, isn't necessarily the right one for you. If after a session you leave feeling unfulfilled, that should be a sign that this isn't the right one. I left my sessions sometimes feeling a bit better to have the heavy things off my chest, but more often than not, I'd leave feeling like something profound had been revealed to me about myself, something I knew all along, but never really knew I knew it. The cutting your sessions to 30 minutes even though you pay for an hour is unfair. I went to a clinic that allowed me a sliding scale fee because I didn't have insurance, I paid 15-24 dollars per session, and I got the whole hour. I don't understand how they can cut so much time from you. I'm sorry about that. Anyway, I hope you find the right doc/counselor/therapist for you. Until then, we're all here. I hope things start to look up for you. |
SempreDomani
said:
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... I went through two therapists before I found one that worked for me. I remember the second one especially was just like the experience you had. I would sit in sessions with so much on my mind, yearning to be helped. Hoping and hoping that she would notice, ask the right questions, say the right things. It just all seemed so pointless and when it came to arranging another appointment for the following week I just went through the motions and agreed even though I felt they really weren't helping, to the point where I almost dreaded the next appointment. It seemed almost like we were struggling for things to say during the session, which is strange considering I wanted so much for someone to talk to. Keep trying to find a good therapist, find a new one. It can be quite disheartening, I know. It's worth it when you find a good one though, It's not even that all of them are "rubbish", it's just that the way one person does it might really click with how you view the world and how you see yourself/would like to be. Unfortunately for me, the two I didn't like were free and provided by the health service...the good one was private and is very expensive. C'est la vie. |
adrakeaz
said:
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Are you a therapy person? I can comment on this post seeing that I've been through a few myself. The way you need to approach therapy in my opinion is that it's your hour, you're paying the therapist, so the therapist has to sit there and listen to whatever crazy thought comes out of your mouth. To truly judge how good a therapist is comes after they have the information to diagnose the issues. This isn't a session with your soul mate who can anticipate your every thought and desire. A therapist is a trained doctor who listens and diagnoses. If you're not comfortable spilling it to a person who is trained to help, then maybe therapy isn't for you. I know it takes confidence to come forth with private vulnerabilities, but if you don't try and you're paying for the session on top of it, then what's the point? If I were you, I'd give the therapist a chance to diagnose rather than prompt so you can truly know if this person can help or not. You might be surprised by two things; one you're better at sharing than you thought and two, all the hours this therapist has spent in class and with patients has paid off......Good luck! |
