This is one of those blogs that I try not to write and I am sorry it is so long........ I don't like to climb on my soapbox in blogs or on-line. I just feel compelled to share some things with all my PS friends. This is an issue I have lived with for 25 years. It has changed my life in positive and negative ways. It has caused me more pain than I ever could have imagined possible - but the outcome is and continues to be positive. I am posting it today, so I can share a wonderfully written letter I found on Yahoo today. This is in no way meant to be a political commentary - it is just a release of feelings that I have had for many years. I think everyone here has endured some type of pain due to our anxiety, panic, depression, OCD and other issues that can't be seen by others.
Some of you are aware that my oldest daughter had a stroke before she was born. She was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when she was 11 months old. I came close to fainting when I was shown the results of her brain scan. Almost one half of her brain was not formed - yet she walked at ten months, danced in her little walker chair and was a very happy little girl. The only thing we noticed was that she didn't use her right hand as much as we thought was normal. We were also told she might have seizures.She did start having them and continued to have grand mal seizures up to ten times a day. She started OT and PT when she was only a year old. She was put on medication that made monthly blood work a necessity. She made wonderful progress and was able to start kindergarten with all the other children her age. She stopped having seizures until she was in college, when she had only one. The reaction of the EMS workers sent to help her was abusive, because they thought it was drugs - not the after effects of a seizure. One more blow to her and all of us.
She graduated from college with a double major in Psychology & Spanish. Her GPA was very high, mostly As. Her goal in life is not to make money, but to help others in need.
She has been treated as a lesser person by many over the years, because she has a barely noticeable disability. I can't even begin to imagine the pain those with more severe disabilities have endured. We can stop this, if we as a country choose to. It begins when we choose not to use words as weapons.
This is a letter written to Rush Limbaugh by Timothy Shriver (now you can understand why I want to make it clear, my blog is not meant to be a political statement). I'll leave politics for others......:
I incredulously listened to the segment in your show in which you repeatedly and offensively used the term "retard" in reference to our meeting with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.
As a public figure, you have the great opportunity to influence the hearts and minds of millions of people in this country and around the world. People with intellectual disabilities - the largest group of people with disabilities in the world - have suffered generations of discrimination and humiliation. In the 21st century, they, together with their families and friends, are continuing their battle for the simplest form of justice: the justice that comes with a recognition of their full humanity. In their eyes and in the hearts of millions of others who love and care about them, language is important. So together, we have chosen to try to sensitize others to the pervasive but often ignored prejudice they suffer by asking for a change of language and a change of heart. For you or for anyone else to mock those who strive, often against long odds, for the recognition and respect they deserve, seems gratuitously hurtful and degrading.
Our message is as simple as it is powerful: people with intellectual disabilities are human beings. Gaining social recognition of that humanity continues to be an elusive goal for them and for those who love and care about them. For centuries, they have borne the stigma of institutionalization, sterilization, social isolation, and bigotry. The names associated with them - such as "retarded" and "retard" - have for too long been used as cruel taunts.
Despite the searing pain that this word (and others) has visited on millions, people with intellectual disabilities have nonetheless persevered to try to gain their dignity. For half a century, mothers, fathers, siblings, and people with intellectual disabilities have worked to open the eyes of the world to the simple truth that each of us has gifts. They do not deserve to be mocked by you.
Our "Spread the Word to End the Word" campaign is aimed at changing the perception that the R-word is acceptable and the good news is that the world is beginning to slowly change. Classrooms are becoming more tolerant, communities more accepting and the work place more inclusive as people with intellectual disabilities are slowly being seen for what we've always known them to be - people of value who help us all to understand we are each gifted in unique ways. But this change is too slow and each use of the R-word as a synonym for a stupid action, a schoolyard taunt, or the punch line of a joke, slows our progress immeasurably.
Great heroes like Special Olympics athlete Loretta Claiborne, are visiting school after school to explain that "retard" and "retarded" are words that caused them unbearable pain as children and continue to reflect deep misunderstanding today. Loretta has the courage to face her disability in public, to ask that others treat her with respect, and to ask for more sensitive and caring attitudes in the future. In response, many are joining her, Special Olympics, Best Buddies, and a coalition of organizations in asking children to pledge never to use the word again - not as a joke, not as a description of behavior, not as an epithet. In my own experience, when I ask people - be they first graders or media figures - to join in stopping the casual use of the word "retarded", they universally agree to do so. Most want to go further: they want to understand better how they can serve as agents of acceptance and dignity.
Loretta is a role model and if given the chance to speak her mind on your program, she and many others like her would inspire you and your audience with her wisdom and toughness. This is a teachable moment. May I ask you to join her now by ending your use of this term and by further using your great influence and position to help others do the same?
Best wishes,
Timothy P. Shriver, Ph.D.
Some of you are aware that my oldest daughter had a stroke before she was born. She was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy when she was 11 months old. I came close to fainting when I was shown the results of her brain scan. Almost one half of her brain was not formed - yet she walked at ten months, danced in her little walker chair and was a very happy little girl. The only thing we noticed was that she didn't use her right hand as much as we thought was normal. We were also told she might have seizures.She did start having them and continued to have grand mal seizures up to ten times a day. She started OT and PT when she was only a year old. She was put on medication that made monthly blood work a necessity. She made wonderful progress and was able to start kindergarten with all the other children her age. She stopped having seizures until she was in college, when she had only one. The reaction of the EMS workers sent to help her was abusive, because they thought it was drugs - not the after effects of a seizure. One more blow to her and all of us.
She graduated from college with a double major in Psychology & Spanish. Her GPA was very high, mostly As. Her goal in life is not to make money, but to help others in need.
She has been treated as a lesser person by many over the years, because she has a barely noticeable disability. I can't even begin to imagine the pain those with more severe disabilities have endured. We can stop this, if we as a country choose to. It begins when we choose not to use words as weapons.
This is a letter written to Rush Limbaugh by Timothy Shriver (now you can understand why I want to make it clear, my blog is not meant to be a political statement). I'll leave politics for others......:
I incredulously listened to the segment in your show in which you repeatedly and offensively used the term "retard" in reference to our meeting with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.
As a public figure, you have the great opportunity to influence the hearts and minds of millions of people in this country and around the world. People with intellectual disabilities - the largest group of people with disabilities in the world - have suffered generations of discrimination and humiliation. In the 21st century, they, together with their families and friends, are continuing their battle for the simplest form of justice: the justice that comes with a recognition of their full humanity. In their eyes and in the hearts of millions of others who love and care about them, language is important. So together, we have chosen to try to sensitize others to the pervasive but often ignored prejudice they suffer by asking for a change of language and a change of heart. For you or for anyone else to mock those who strive, often against long odds, for the recognition and respect they deserve, seems gratuitously hurtful and degrading.
Our message is as simple as it is powerful: people with intellectual disabilities are human beings. Gaining social recognition of that humanity continues to be an elusive goal for them and for those who love and care about them. For centuries, they have borne the stigma of institutionalization, sterilization, social isolation, and bigotry. The names associated with them - such as "retarded" and "retard" - have for too long been used as cruel taunts.
Despite the searing pain that this word (and others) has visited on millions, people with intellectual disabilities have nonetheless persevered to try to gain their dignity. For half a century, mothers, fathers, siblings, and people with intellectual disabilities have worked to open the eyes of the world to the simple truth that each of us has gifts. They do not deserve to be mocked by you.
Our "Spread the Word to End the Word" campaign is aimed at changing the perception that the R-word is acceptable and the good news is that the world is beginning to slowly change. Classrooms are becoming more tolerant, communities more accepting and the work place more inclusive as people with intellectual disabilities are slowly being seen for what we've always known them to be - people of value who help us all to understand we are each gifted in unique ways. But this change is too slow and each use of the R-word as a synonym for a stupid action, a schoolyard taunt, or the punch line of a joke, slows our progress immeasurably.
Great heroes like Special Olympics athlete Loretta Claiborne, are visiting school after school to explain that "retard" and "retarded" are words that caused them unbearable pain as children and continue to reflect deep misunderstanding today. Loretta has the courage to face her disability in public, to ask that others treat her with respect, and to ask for more sensitive and caring attitudes in the future. In response, many are joining her, Special Olympics, Best Buddies, and a coalition of organizations in asking children to pledge never to use the word again - not as a joke, not as a description of behavior, not as an epithet. In my own experience, when I ask people - be they first graders or media figures - to join in stopping the casual use of the word "retarded", they universally agree to do so. Most want to go further: they want to understand better how they can serve as agents of acceptance and dignity.
Loretta is a role model and if given the chance to speak her mind on your program, she and many others like her would inspire you and your audience with her wisdom and toughness. This is a teachable moment. May I ask you to join her now by ending your use of this term and by further using your great influence and position to help others do the same?
Best wishes,
Timothy P. Shriver, Ph.D.
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Anxious Lady
said:
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... Very good blog, Inspired. We all need to be reminded that words can indeed hurt. It's too bad that some of the "shock jocks" lack the skill to find a better way to try to increase their ratings. Thanks for sharing this with us. |
ceejay
said:
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... Never apologize for being proud of your child, for being an advocate for others, or for standing up to people who would use others for their own gain. This space is yours - this blog! Beautifully written. I did not know about your daughter's challenges but I am thrilled to see that she has succeeded in so many things in her young life! And I wish her all the best. You GO Mom! |
cryingout
said:
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... As one mother to another I feel the pain you are feeling for all the struggles your child has had to endure. Nothing hurts more than when your child is being singled out for any reason. Yes you are so right...words do hurt. Your daughter's accomplishments are major and her life goal to help others is a testament to what a wonderful, supportive mother you have been to her. Congrats on raising such a terrific person!! |
Mike619er
said:
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... I can relate to your post pretty well too Norell. Although it might not be the same, my younger brother suffers from a stuttering problem. I always feared that people would make fun of him for it, and I was SOOO defensive of him anytime anybody would even bring it up. It really was something that I had, and I guess do have to start to stop worrying about atleast a little bit. It's so hard when you care about someone though and someone is belittling them. He's a senior now in high school, and going to college next year. I hope all goes well for him there, I let my social anxieties get the best of me there. I can only imagine with his social problems how hard it will be. Hopefully he can be as strong as you daughter and push through it. She's a tough one! :) |
Irish
said:
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... In the end, we will be judged most by our compassion for others or lack of it. Not seeking revenge here, but I am saying that all things will even out either in this life or the next. Know that there is a reason for everything and we are constantly being put to the test. For all of us sometimes we pass and sometimes we fail. If we deliberetly fail for our earthly rewards, then we will be judged by that deed. When we die we die alone. Take care.....Ed |
PattyPanic
said:
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... My cousin is a twin and she was born with cerebral palsy. She is now 18 and doing well but she drags her leg and her hands have no control sometimes. She works her behind off for special olympics. She is always washing cars or doing some kind of fund raiser. I love that kid. That was a great post. Do you realize that we with Panic Disorder and all the rest of these disorders get treated differently by people. I've been talked about behind my back. y neighbors treat me that way. People who think they are so called normal have a tendency to judge others. As Ed says in the end there is judgement. Patty |
Gilligan
said:
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... You must be extremely proud of your daughter. If we are ever to become the civilized society that we pretend to be, we must not tolerate these insidious acts of verbal violence. Discrimination is something we can all understand here. I think this is a perfectly appropriate forum for your observation. As for Rush, I think the title of Al Franken’s book says it all! |
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