Anyone ever get that sinking feeling in the pit of their stomach? One moment where you could be doing anything, and then the feeling's there, almost a nauseous feeling, where you think to yourself 'Is this it? Is this the way my life is always going to be? Am I going to have to struggle with my own emotions for ever? Is doing little things like going to the supermarket, always going to cause me so much panic and upset? Will I ever be free to go wherever my mood takes me, like I used to? Is there any point in struggling? Should I just accept my fate and let the panic do what it will?
Sorry to ramble, but that's how I'm feeling right now. It's like I'm constantly fighting to 'be normal' to the outside world, when inside I feel like screaming and telling everyone to look at me, to take away this horrid feeling that's always in the pit of my stomach, the fear that's always lurking in the back of my mind and the fogginess that seems to descend on my head and senses at least ten times a day - like a grey blanket that's suffocating me and not letting me be happy.
Do I sound crazy? Have any of you guys had these feelings? Please say you have! I'm scared I'm actually losing my mind now (which would be a bitch after I've fought for so long to get better!). XX