I can't decide which condition I am fighting the most right now. Anxiety/panic or depression? Or both? Either way, my 30mg of paxil and 75mg of wellbutrin are not getting it done. I have needed .5mg of ativan at night and occasionally during the day. I feel like a fool taking all these meds and yet I know that this is what I need to do. I guess it is the old stigma of being a freak or pill popper. Reminded me of a great conversation with a great friend last week. He was talkign with someone else who has been dealign with some medical issues and now is depressed. She is afraid to take the meds her doc gave her for it. She fears turning into some sort of zombie or kook. He said, we have the ability to make medicines that will help people, if you need help, you take what might get you better. And the hell with all the old labels and stigmas. They are from a different generation that did not understand the impact that mental illnesses have. Awesome conversation and yet I still sit here and worry about using up my medication. While my psych decide I am a junkie? Will I not be able to get more? Of course he will help me if and when I need help. Silly thinking on my part. But then again, that is what we do best, think silly thoughts. STOP THINKING SILLY!!!!!!!!!
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PattyPanic
said:
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... Hi, While I was in the hospital coming down off xanax me and my psychiatrist got into a fight. He kept telling me he could help me but I wouldn't listen. He wanted me to start on a small dose of celexa, and I kept refusing the edication. Well during the fight he just got up and told me he would be back to talk about this when I was more relaxed. He relaxed me alright. He had a nurse come in with a small dose of xanax, ativan and a half hour later he gave me a dose of klonipin. Needless to say I was the ost relaxed person in the hospital. I changed my ind and took the celexa that evening and no side efffects. So now I am on 20mg of celexa and .75mg of klonipin for the whole day, and what a difference. My life is changing and I can actually function. I always worried about this stigma being called a pill junkie but you know if you had a regular disease like diabetes or a heart condition you would be taking medication for it. Maybe they can change your medication until you find something right for you. But you are by no means a pill junkie you are taking medication for an illness and that had to be beat into my head. My body is very sensitive to medications and I am scared of them so I guess the hospital was the safest place to try new ones. Good luck and all the best. Patty |
PattyPanic
said:
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... Oh yeah I forgot chances are you are fighting depression for the ost part because I think depression is the main cause of anxiety. Patty |
ceejay
said:
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... I have been anxious all my life. I developed Panic Disorder in my 20's. I developed full blown Panic and Anxiety Disorder in my early 30's. I became clinically depressed in my 40's. I had to deal with the Depression before I could do anything at all. That required the correct dose of an AD - I happened to respond to Effexor. Then I was able to work diligently in therapy for 3 years to understand, grapple with, and overcome my thoughts and fears that had developed into Panic and Anxiety Disorder. Now I live my life to the full, with a joy and a wonder that I have not had since being a small child. I am still anxious at times, and can panic over things. I have Xanax to take when I need it because I do not want to get too far down the road of Panic and Anxiety that might trigger Depression. Do not stay paralyzed in an analytical fight between the chicken and the egg. "Who cares?" became the best way for me to deal with that crossroads. And I didn't have to choose one or the other, the crossroads simply disappeared. I was on a pretty high dose of Effexor for 3 1/2 years because that's what I needed. Being under the care of an excellent psychiatrist, a therapist and a primary care doc I did not have to worry about "being a pill popper" or "being a zombie" or "being on the meds forever" because I knew that these people would help me deal with whatever my path held. That kind of trust and understanding was the first real step on my road to recovery. I urge you to take it too. Hugs - Ceejay |
Irish
said:
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... If I had to pick a blog and comments in a section, I would vote for this one. Your blog was AWESOME, FANTASTIC, CREDIBLE AND TRUE.It is exactly on the mark. The comment from Patti and Ceejay are equally as good as your blog. If everyone read your blog and took their advice just the way it is. (No changes, please) we would have a lot less anxious people on here. I am a product of the 60's. Talk about prejudice from society regarding my illness and no meds either, it was a nightmare. This was GREAT I would like to frame everything here minus my comments. Take care....Ed |
inspired
said:
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... Yes, I agree. It was a great blog and describes my current situation - listen to Patty and cee-jay. It's great advice. All My Best, Norell |
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