I hope everyone is doing well!
My title says "starting to re-organize" because I have known for a while that most of my anxiety comes from the constant chaos and disorganization of my life. Even though I have known what needs to be done, I lack the motivation or I just don't feel well. My intentions are always good; I make lists with everything I want to accomplish for the day but I usually don't make it through them. I get overwhelmed, get a headache, and just go lay down. The funny thing is I am a very organized person; if you saw my desk at work you would think I live in a home where everything is in its place and runs smoothly with very little speed bumps. When everything is in order I find myself being more calm. At home, everything is simply a mess (not dirty but cluttered) and it seems no matter how much I put things away they always end up not in their rightful place. For instance, I have 3 pairs of scissors I store in 3 separate spots and all 3 pairs have been missing for about a week and no one in my family knows where they are. I have been quite calm about it, not saying a word, knowing they will miraculously reappear. I know this re-organization will take some time and a lot of help from my family once I get them to really understand why I get so frustrated. Earlier this week I had 2 really bad days in a row where I barely got myself to work and once I came home I just went to sleep or laid on the couch. During those 2 days I realized that the laundry was piling up, no dinner was made, the floors weren't swept, etc. So, I decided to do a little experiment...I continued to only do what was absolutely necessary these last 3 days and yet nothing was getting done without me having to say "please wash a load of towels or please do the dishes". I am not saying I want my family to do everything so I can do nothing because that is not who I am, I would just like them to be a little less dependent on me all of the time and step up a little when I am not feeling well (my kids are 7 yrs. and 14 yrs. old).
Since I mentioned above that I lack motivation I wanted to also mention that because I joined this site I feel like I can be motivated by tracking myself on this blog or maybe it's just knowing that other people are seeing my updates will keep me motivated since my life usually revolves around not disappointing others. I am starting with a new attitude tomorrow and I am clearing out the clutter (literally and figuratively). Starting tomorrow at 8am I am dropping my oldest off at cheer practice, dropping my car off for an alignment, then I have until noon which I am starting with my closet :) Hopefully when my husband gets home from golfing I will not be on the couch wanting to quit for the day.
Have a wonderful evening everyone!