It has been a rough couple of weeks, actually, more like a couple of months, but things are better. first of all, my niece got her MRI results back and they were totally clear. No abnormalities, it was perfect. Everyone in my family was so happy and relieved, especially my brother and sister-in-law, and myself. I guess it was just a freak thing that happened, they are not sure why, but she is going back in about 8 months to get another scan just for a follow-up. so... God is Good. Prayers are answered sometimes. And for me, my prayers seem to be answered at the most crucial moments in my life. I think it is probably because I am just so beaten down and at my breaking point, that I am just ready to just let it all go, and let God take care of it, because I can not deal with it anymore. it's kind of like you just "surrender" your entire state of mind including all your thoughts and emotions, unconscious and conscious, to God, and ask him for help and his guidance and whatever else is deep inside your heart. So she is ok, and so.. I am ok. nothing really else matters to me, except my niece and nephew and my family. so I especially want to thank Tsuki, for her always kind, gentle and thoughtful words of wisdom, to LovesOctober, for her advice and concern and Toolooze, a new member, for reaching out and sharing a bit of his story with me. I got my valium refilled, and that did help a lot. but I don't think that I run out of valium and then all this S*** hits the fan. I think that LIFE JUST HAPPENS and you either have valium or you don't. For Me, My Life is just kind of like an extremely scary, thrilling roller coaster ride, full of highs and lows, combined with an often dangerous, painful, dirty, difficult and slippery obstacle course. I guess everyone has to decide for themselves how they are going to get through it; when to get through it; why they should get through it or not; and so on. But for me, I have decided that it is worth a try. I have failed in the past, and I will probably fail again. But I have to keep trying.Thank you everyone. Peace.
"It is how we deal with failure that defines us."~ Jack Morris
"I can accept failure, I can not accept not trying."~ Michael Jordan