I am so frustrated right now, I am letting the panic win today. I think the most frustrating part of it is that I know what is happening, I know that I am letting it take over but I just can't stop it. I only have one xanax left and I don't have a doctors appointment until the 18th. I am so afraid to take it because what if I need another one between now and then. I have switched doctors and I am going to a new one so I am not sure that if I call them and ask them to call some in they will. I have had the same bottle of xanax for over a year. I take them very rarely but I really am afraid to take the last one I have.
I hate that I do this to myself. I hate that I am totally aware that I am doing it to myself yet it is still happening. I am just so irritated, scared, and upset right now. I compare it to smoking, I am a smoker ( I know its bad I want to quit but I just haven't) if I have a whole pack of cigarettes downstairs I can go hours without one. But if I am out of cigarettes I want one so bad just because I don't have it readily available. I know it is totally psychological. I am wondering if that is not why my panic has gotten so bad lately because I know I only have one pill left. If I had a whole bottle and knew that relief was just right in the other room if need be I think I would feel a whole lot better.
I think tomorrow I will call the new doctor's office just to see what I can do. I don't want to have myself all worked up like this for the next almost two weeks. If I didn't suffer from this disorder I would find it so interesting the way it works. How something that is completely based on a mental problem can manifest itself in such a physical manner. Well thanks for reading.
TrackBack URI for this entry
Subscribe to this comment's feed
PattyPanic
said:
 |
... Xanax only gives you temporary relief. You have to look at it in a different light. Some people who quit smoking carry one cigarette with them just in case and they never touch it. Lets just imagine if you had a whole bottle of xanax. You would feel more comfortable right. Think about why that is because the bottle lasted you a year. Whats the worst thing that is going ot happen if you have a panic attack? Not much just some trembling, that out of control feeling, heart palpitations and whatever else might come along with it. The truth is you will survive that PA and anxiety.What you have to do is keep the anxiety under control. So how do we do this? Try this every time you start even slightly thinking anxious thoughts bring your mind back to the moment, by counting tiles on the floor, or your breath or whatever else you can come up with. Distract yourself every time you think anxiously and everytime you start thinking how you only have one pill left. Take the so what attitude. So what if....... Hope that helps. Patty |
cubby
Private Chat!
View Profile
Send Email