Hi everyone. Not been on here for a couple of weeks because I've had a lot of family problems to deal with.
My brother has been with his partner for nearly eight years and they have three children together (a 6-year-old boy and twins, aged two). They are the light of my life and it just so happens that his partner is now my best friend. I absolutely love her to pieces, so you can understand the horror I experienced when he left her and the children to go and have fun! And by fun, I mean shacking up with a new girl within weeks of leaving my friend and the children.
Needless to say this didn't settle well with me (too close to home because of what my husband did to my a few years back) and I have had a massive screaming match with my brother, told him lots of home truth's, like the fact he is spoilt and self-centred and needs to grow a pair of balls and man up!
He didn't take this very well and stormed out and we haven't spoken since.
I am trying to be there for my friends and the children but I feel the stress creeping up on me more and more - I'm finding it hard to sit and do nothing because I immediately focus on my heart beat and it inevitably starts to race when I hone in on it.
I'm also experiencing something I've never felt before and it's kinda freaking me out - I've never had a problem sleeping, even when my anxiety was at it's worse (I knew how lucky I was to be able to rest), but for the past week or so when, just as I am drifting off I feel a weird stab of fear in the centre of my chest - it takes my breath away and my eyes shoot open. I then have to breathe deeply for a few minutes and try to go back to sleep when I feel calm again. Some nights it only happens once and other nights it happens a couple of times and I don't like it!
Have any of you had these weird night time horrors and if so, could you give me some advice on how to stop them?
Funny thing - last night I had a few beers and went to bed feeling rather relaxed and very tired. I feel asleep with no problem at all and slept right through.
Maybe beer is the answer? (obviously joking! Nobody take offence, my sense of humour if a little warped!)
Hope you're all well. xxx
TrackBack URI for this entry
Subscribe to this comment's feed
AdiMoon
said:
 |
... Hi Manz, Gosh it makes me want to cry for your brother's partner... it must be heartbreaking..and especially the way its bringing up memories for you. I don't know what to say about that - its terribly sad. But about the sleep...I have plenty of experience! i have had every variety of heart wobble/head explosion/ body start/anxiety voodoo monster! imaginable when drifting off, plus a very long spell this summer when i hardly slept a wink. It's very distressing. BUT the key to solving it is the ACCEPT it (Yeah yeah i know! Here I go again with the blooming acceptance stuff...sorry but it's what works) ITs the additional cortisol and adrenaline in your system from the emotional stuff you're going throughn that's keeping you revved up. My solution was .... Go to bed early...at least you're giving yourself a chance of totting up the hours. Get up if you wake - anytime after 4 a.m. ish, and read/ whatever/ accepting that that's it for the night. Exercise in the early part of the day...not too close to beddytimes I used Nytol or Kalms both of which are herbal meds based around Valerian and to be honest I found them great. I kept my mp3 by the bed and i had some relaxing meditations on it..and if i woke up too soon/couldn't sleep in the first place I listened to it and sometimes I even drifted off because of it... I'm going to sound like your granny now...but hot milky drinks like Horlicks/Ovaltine does really help. a bath with lavender oil an hour or so before bed better still a back massage with lavender oil in a carrier from himself - tell him there's no strings attached!(if you prefer) and zero caffeine if you can manage it, but atleast not after lunch. What really worked for me was just saying to the Insomnia okay, okay, hang around for as long as you want, i realy don't mind, and then I took it easy whenevr i didn't sleep. Sometimes I went for many days without sleeping...but it passed in the end. i hope it does so for you too. Soon !xx |
Loves October
said:
 |
... AdiMoon has shared a lot of wisdom. I think this feels like what is called "a record scratch". When you hit the same spot on a broken record it scratches. When you are in/near a situation that is similar to some- thing you went through, it feels bad again. I also think this is hard on you because you're conflicted - you love your brother, but are deeply disappointed. You love your friend and hurt for her. You love your nieces/nephews. You have a good heart! However this shakes out, I want you to take care of yourself. Are you on any meds for your anxiety? I am, and mine helps me to sleep. Talk to your dr. if necessary about the sleep. |
manz82
said:
 |
... Thanks for the advice guys. I am on medication. I've been on it on and off the past three years and I was just beginning to wean myself of the tablets when all this kicked off. Now I don't know if it's such a good idea. I don't like having to rely on medication to get me through life itself, but my mother says a little help now and again never did anyone any harm. My friend and the kids stayed over and my house last night. As it was bonfire night and my brother was nowhere to be seen, I invited her and the kids to stay and as I type this I have got my beautiful twin niece and nephew curled up on my lap watching morning cartoons. They are absolutely adorable and my heart breaks for what my stupid brother is doing to them and their mother. I just wish I could shake him and make him realise what he is losing, because it will be him that loses out in the end! I hate what he's done. It is literally tearing me apart inside and I don't know what to do about it. I will try to take care of myself, that way I will be strong enough to help my friend and the babies through this. Thank you, big hugs. xxx |
