I have come to the conclusion that all of my fears & panic attacks come from one root: the fear of the unknown. The reacurring panics are triggered by the branches off that fear. They are: fear I will eventually go blind because of my serious eye disease, death, fear of loosing my boyfriend as a support for the baby & I, labor in my 3rd trimester & if it will be successful, not knowing why the universe is as complex as it is, & my future.
This makes me wonder how I got to that point. What happend in my life over many years that has caused me to have such immobilizing fears of anything that has to do with the unknown? I think it may come from the fact that my life has been so unstable in a bad way, that the unknown frightens me, because I crave stability & to know everything will be okay. I was given up for adoption, then put into the hands of an abuser only to be left to my own means. I often believe that our deepest fears were created from deep childhood/adulthood memories.