I have come to the conclusion that all of my fears & panic attacks come from one root: the fear of the unknown. The reacurring panics are triggered by the branches off that fear. They are: fear I will eventually go blind because of my serious eye disease, death, fear of loosing my boyfriend as a support for the baby & I, labor in my 3rd trimester & if it will be successful, not knowing why the universe is as complex as it is, & my future.
This makes me wonder how I got to that point. What happend in my life over many years that has caused me to have such immobilizing fears of anything that has to do with the unknown? I think it may come from the fact that my life has been so unstable in a bad way, that the unknown frightens me, because I crave stability & to know everything will be okay. I was given up for adoption, then put into the hands of an abuser only to be left to my own means. I often believe that our deepest fears were created from deep childhood/adulthood memories.
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NoJackLikeKerouac
said:
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... I am so sorry to hear that your childhood was the way that it was. I do indeed believe that what we go through, even if we can't remember it, shapes us into who we are, and who we will be. It also, absolutely has every cause to our fears and anxieties. The unknown is scary. It's scary for almost everyone. I think that is why religion or God is so popular. It gives an answer of the unknown to people who choose to believe it. In that, I think religion can be a wonderful thing. Your Life having been so hard, makes it very clear, and reasonable that you would fear the unknown so powerfully. It makes it so understandable that you would want stability and to know that everything is alright. Knowing that you can't know everything, that is the first step toward defeating your fear. And I applaud you for this brief post. It says to me that you have thought about this a great deal, and are determined to fight against it. Always and admirable thing. I don't think any of us will ever know why the universe is so complex. But instead of trying to figure it out, try to just live in it, if you can. It is a scary world we live in, but it is a beautiful one just the same. It has every right to be mysterious. And I think a lot of it's beauty comes from just that. As far as your future, there really is no sure way to know what will happen, but as you grow you learn, and I am sure you know this already. Over time you will make mistakes and learn from them, you will learn to trust and you will learn to relax some of your fears. It all takes time, but in the end, that will come to you. Life does that for all of us. I just deeply believe that. It seems to me you have a lot to look forward to, and when good things happen, sometimes that can be the scariest thing of all. You never know what could go wrong, or how much of those good things could be lost some day. But instead of worrying about all of that, try to enjoy the good of it all. I know that is easier said than done. But I truly hope that you can ease some of your fears. Best of luck to you with your pregnancy and labor. I hope it all goes smoothly for you. And congratulations as well! |
Shannonn7
said:
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... Wow! this was the most inspirational thing I have come accross in a long long while! You have such a positive, yet realistic take on things. I love it. Gotta get me some of that. I will work on it, thanks to you putting it in perspective for me. And yes, I am not religious so I do not rely on a God to explain my reason for existance or anything else in the universe. I am relying on myself & the spirit of the universe itself. The thing that hit me the most that you said, is that it's the mystery of the universe that makes it so beautiful. That actually brought tears to my eyes. THank you!! |
NoJackLikeKerouac
said:
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... Well thank you. That makes me feel awesome. I am glad to have helped in some way. I tend to feel and think the way I described to you, but then when I get scared I abandon that. I know it's not a matter of flipping a switch, but if you try to remember these things when your fear is at it's peak, it could help you. It has me. Best of luck to you!!!!! |
Megan86
said:
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, Having a rough childhood can do more damage to you as a adult than we sometimes acknowledge. I am sorry that you had such a hard go of it. The unknown can be a very scary thing, but we will truly never know it all, we aren't suppose to. That's what makes us human. When you figure out what causes your attacks, you have a better chance at overcoming them, your a step closer. We will have times of worry and fear, but it's in those times that you feel that panic rise up, you have a choice. You can either let it over take you or you can try a new technique every time until you find one that helps you out in a big way. Take the attacks as a opportunity to learn your limits and strengths |
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The 'ol insomnia again, huh?