It has been two years since my last blog entry. Since then, I have graduated from college, gotten a full-time job, and have married.
It is amazing how much can change in two years.
After seeing Melinda, my therapist, for about 6 months, I stopped. She wanted me to go see a neurologist so that they could look more into my seizure-like symptoms so I could get relief.
It was a breaking point for me. One of the biggest fears I have is that the sensatiins, feelings, and physical effects I have are all mental, and that it is one big lie my mind is putting my body through.
Does anyone else feel like they are lying all the time? Although I have met and read stories about others dealing with anxiety issues, I have not met anyone that has dealt with the feeling of lying all the time. Maybe I am lying? Maybe all of this is just made up? Whatif I am faking my anxiety symptoms?
I cannot trust myself, so I do not know what to do. The thought of being a liar is depressing me, and the symptoms I have been having for years now has not disapated. I am at a loss.
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Loves October
said:
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... What we struggle with can be confusing. I feel one way one day and a totally different way the next day. I can't imagine anyone faking anxiety symptoms. It's simply not something anyone would choose. With all of your recent accomplishments, you've come a very long way. Maybe you're overthinking it? |
gza
said:
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... My story starts similarly to yours. Since my last entry two years ago I have graduated college, gotten a full time job, and have a long term GF. (No marriage yet) The fact that you are obsessing about these things at all proves that you have anxiety. You have anxiety about whether or not it is real. The mind is a powerful tool, and yours is clearly a very bright mind. While it may not help to hear from a stranger I don't think you're a liar at all. |
Thank you so much Madam Flyswatter! 
The 'ol insomnia again, huh?
Loves October
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