It has been two years since my last blog entry. Since then, I have graduated from college, gotten a full-time job, and have married.
It is amazing how much can change in two years.
After seeing Melinda, my therapist, for about 6 months, I stopped. She wanted me to go see a neurologist so that they could look more into my seizure-like symptoms so I could get relief.
It was a breaking point for me. One of the biggest fears I have is that the sensatiins, feelings, and physical effects I have are all mental, and that it is one big lie my mind is putting my body through.
Does anyone else feel like they are lying all the time? Although I have met and read stories about others dealing with anxiety issues, I have not met anyone that has dealt with the feeling of lying all the time. Maybe I am lying? Maybe all of this is just made up? Whatif I am faking my anxiety symptoms?
I cannot trust myself, so I do not know what to do. The thought of being a liar is depressing me, and the symptoms I have been having for years now has not disapated. I am at a loss.