Ever had that feeling that there's a swarm of butterflies dong somersaults in your stomach for no apparent reason?
I used to get them a lot and still do when they're needed (like when I'm actually supposed to be nervous!) but I could control them to a certain extent.
And now, surprise, surprise, they're back!
I'm sat here typing and I can feel the flip-flopping in my stomach. My hearts going a bit, too.
What's it all about?
I have been stressed out recently, with family issues and my husband being made redundant.
I get angry at myself because I feel like the old me has disappeared. I used to be able to handle most things. Sure, I'd get angry and stressed like everyone, but I could handle things. It feels like the old me has been replaced by this snivelling little scared creature who reacts to any slight form of stress by introverting into herself and concentrating on all the nasty symptoms that anxiety brings.
When will it all end? When will I be the person who used to laugh things off again? Who used to think that the best solution to any problem was to have fun and forget about it?
I miss them days. I miss the old me. I miss not worrying ALL THE TIME!
I want my life back!
I don't ask for much, never have. I don't want lots of money. I don't want all the material things that people tend to strive for. I just want to be happy with myself and my family and live my life without fear constantly tapping me on the shoulder and creeping into my very essence at every opportunity.
I feel like screaming at it to leave me alone and go bother someone else!
Think I actually might start screaming more. Might help!
Rant over. xxxx