Think I've actually been doing well recently, still had anxious feelings but have managed to suppress them and get through it without it effecting my day. Trying to stay strong but I'm starting to realise that it's a bit tiring fighting against your mind so much each day. I think it's getting easier; not every day and not as much when it comes. I'm starting to recognise the triggers for my anxiety and the times it tends to happen which I think is helping me stay in control. I seem to panick, instantly, if I feel ANY pain in my body; especially my mouth. I think this is because I know I don't have a high pain threshold and am scared of being in pain for any extended period of time. I think I'm worse at night, I'm fairly calm when I wake up in the morning and I actually enjoy this part of the day (I'm clearly a morning person!!). I've got a morning routine and I think this helps me to feel in control, as the day goes on my anxiety seems to sit in the background, I know it's around but it doesn't normally stop me from functioning because I keep myself busy. Then I come home in the evening and everything goes funny. I try to watch my favourite television programmes, read some of whatever book I'm reading at the time, change into fresh pyjamas and have my evening meal.
I don't know for sure if it's the fact that I'm not doing anything physical at this period of time or if it's that I'm alone and there's nothing to distract me from myself but I tend to panick. Recently I've been able to get control of myself with ten or fifteen minutes but it's still irritating. I feel so good about myself and proud through the day that I've achieved a DAY without panick and have overcome that. Then it hits me, even if it's only for a few seconds, and I begin to feel like I've failed everything. I know I should try to be positive but it seems to take up a lot of my energy fighting against these episodes so it feels like I've wasted my time.
(I've been advised to start this by an anxiety councillor so I'm assuming it will help for those that want to give it a try) I've started listing to myself all the possible things that could be the root of my stress and rationalising how it will effect me and why it bothers me. When I see things written down I noticed that it's quite nice to see it as just words (though I know it's more than that ) as it makes it feel like it's small part of my life.
Anyway, I want to end this on a high note; I am trying and I think I may be making progress despite the setbacks. My anxiety is still in the early stages of being controlled so I'm going to start putting my little achievements into that perspective!