Panic Survivor Members Blog

So I last wrote about how I kept forgetting to take my Xanax in the morning.  So I just stopped taking it.  Last week Saturday was my first day of not taking it.  Today is thursday.  So far, so good.  I have had no side effects at all, and my anxiety has not increased, nor have I felt any panic.  Overall, I am quite happy with the results.

 Next goal.  Begin slowly decreasing the Paxil.  Hopefully by around December or January I can start working on that one.

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Many of you might remember that I went off my Xanax last June (I'm still on the Paxil though).  I was originally at 3x a day and slowly eased off of it until I was completely off Xanax.  Never had a withdrawal effect.  After school started I found that I needed just 1 pill in the morning after a rough first 2 weeks. 

 It's only .5mg, but of course I wasn't too happy that I put myself back on the Xanax.  Although many people might go through an entire bottle of Xanax in a singe day when working with 120 high schoolers for 7 hours, I know that I'm able to do it without.  Last week I tried 1/2 of a pill, which is hardly anything, but then had my jittery feelings for no reason at all. 

 This morning I completely forgot to take it.  I slept in b/c its saturday, which of course is different from my weekly morning routine, and so I just forgot to take it.  I'm thinking of not taking it tomorrow morning either, and the same for Monday.  We'll see if I still need it or not.  Should be interesting.

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So as I posted before, Fall is gorgeous in Michigan.  The bad part about Michigan is that our weather changes constantly...partially due to the Big Lakes.  With that said, it's not been so bad that last week and a half.  It's been raining or drizzling for the last week.  Today we had some sun this morning, and then clouds predicted for the rest of the week.  The mornings are the hardest though...sunrise around 7:45 am right now, and we're not even in winter yet.  And my first hour begins at 7:30.

 I sometimes wonder how I'd feel if I moved to a sunnier state, with sun all year long, even in the winter.  I need the winter and the changing of the seasons, if only to more appreciate the Springtime.  I'm a big gardener, and so thats something to look forward towards all winter long.

 I'm curious how many other "northerners" are on this site, and how the weather affects them.  I don't get depressed when its cloudy for a few weeks at at time (sluggish perhaps).  I just notice my anxiety is that much better when the sun is shining and its a beautiful day.

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Fall is simply one of the best seasons in Michigan.  In fact, although I love Spring, with the blooming of the flowers and the birds returning, I have to say that Fall is right behind it.  The changing of the leaves, pumpkins, frost, apples, cidar, cinnamon doughnuts, deer hunting, what a great season.

 As one who suffers from anxiety, and who has overcome quite a bit of it, I confess that the weather plays a HUGE role in my moods and anxiety.  Although I don't have S.A.D., I will say that when my anxiety is high, those cold dark Michigan mornings are hard.  I'm up at 6, and in the winter, the sun won't "appear" until 8:30 - and then its usually just clouds all winter long.  And yet, when my anxiety is low - then I'm fine.  This of course is common, but we are just entering those dark mornings now as we start Fall.

But then again, I just look at those cold, rainy, snowy days as "cozy days" when, after a long day of teaching, I can get home to a pot roast or casserole, and then read a good book on the couch with a blanket while the wind howls out our window.  And of course, there's always Snow Days come January - probably the best benefit of being a teacher, next to shaping the future of course.

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Hey all,

 So it's been a few weeks since my last blog.  Ok, about a month and a half.  I had a great start right up to the beginning of school.  I actually had a really good first two weeks.  Far better than last year.  However, I did have to start taking a morning Xanax again.  I was off the Xanax since about June.  I really didn't want to go back on it, but wow - what a difference. 

 We are now starting our 4th week of school.  I have not had any panic attacks, and only a few waves of anxiety during that first week of school.  Overall, the return to class this year was far different from last year.  In fact, as I look at the date, today is the one year anniversary of being put on Xanax in the first place. 

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Hi all,

 Quick update...school starts here in a few weeks again, and I'll be back in the classroom.  This year I'm teaching two new electives (one each semester), so I'm looking forward to those.  My anxiety symptoms have been gone for quite awhile now, although I do have the worries about them at times.  The "what ifs?" that permeate our beings still exist.  One big one of course is the first day of school, which usually makes EVERYONE anxious, whether or not they have anxiety.  But no use getting worked up about it, so we'll see what happens.  I'm looking forward to school this time around, so thats good.

 I'll stop by with another update in a few days/weeks, as we get closer.  I already feel different now from when I did a year ago at this time - and thats a good thing.

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Greetings anxiety warriors,

 I have found time to write an update.  Since April (the last time I was regularly on this site) I have continued to improve.  I was on .5 Xanax 3x a day.  I cut that out slowly and was pleased to discover no withdrawal symptoms.  Apparently I would not make a good drug addict.  So I am now off the Xanax, and the next step is to get off the Paxil.  I hardly ever take my Ambien anymore to help me sleep, and so slowly the drugs are going away.

 I had a fantastic end of the school year, and have felt just like my old self since about January.  Of course there is some "what if" about going back to school in the fall, but I'm looking forward to it as well. 

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Hey everyone!

 I'm back  :)  Its been a few months since I've been here, and I'll try and give an update this week.  I'm off the xanax now though, and feeling great!

ttfn!

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So I went to prom the other night.  Ok, I chaparoned it - but I was curious how my anxiety would do in a crowded room full of teenagers, food, music, etc....  It went great.  I realize I'm around students all day - but there's still that worry in the back of one's mind when you leave your "comfort zone" such as the classroom.  It went great - and I was quite happy with myself b/c I'm slowly getting of the xanax and haven't really had any negative side effects yet.  And I didn't want to take one before prom if I didn't have too - so I didn't, and of course everything went well.  Oh, I got to chill in a Bentley Coup convertible too - so that was cool  :)

 Right now it's 41 degrees out, freezing rain/yuckie-ness.  Down in the low 30's overnight too.  But by this weekend it's supposed to be in the 80's - so got that to look forward to as well.  My peonies are coming back up...I killed them last year by mistake and thought they were goners.  All my transplants are up - and now I'm just on the fence on whether or not I should cover my lilac's as they're just beginning to bud - and last year they got hammered with a cold snap in late April.  Grrrrrrrrrrrr.

Otherwise - only 7 1/2 weeks left till summer vacation.  On my return from Spring Vacation I had some anxiety - but dealt with it well.  We'll see how the rest of the year goes - and into next summer!

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So, the time has come where I feel good enough that I felt I should lower my dose of Paxil.  However, my doc said that before we lower paxil, we should get me off of Xanax first.  I was doing .5mg 3x a day - a rather common prescription.  I already cut out the middle pill with no problems, and am now doing 1/2 a pill at night, and a whole one in the morning.  Really no side effects yet...but I know that this can be a very addicting drug and so I'm waiting for the withdrawl effects to kick in.  B/c I'm going slowly though, I don't think I'm going to feel it as much. 

In fact, I was able to quit the second pill with no problems - I just always forgot to take it, so I just stopped taking it.  So now we'll see what happens as we lower our xanax, until I get to the point where I can lower my paxil. 

I'm not afraid of meds by any means - however, I also don't want to stay on them forever if I don't need to be, so this will be an interesting experiement for me over the next few months.  Kind of exciting wondering what will happen.   :)  I'll let ya know how it goes either here or in the medications forum.

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