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Blog entries written by earthmama
checking in
(Sunday, 09 November 2008) Written by earthmama
Well my friends, things must be going well.  I am not checking on PS 20 times a day.  Not taking deep breathes before I get in the car.  Not freaking out if I don't have water or my sunglasses in the car.  I still feel anxiety.  I gue... (45 more chars)
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One...year...DOWN!!!!!
(Wednesday, 24 September 2008) Written by earthmama
Can you believe it???  One year ago my hubby left for Iraq.  My heart was broken.  I was a mess.  I started taking zoloft, continued therapy, took care of myself.  Made new friends, continued with old friends.  Single parenting 2 boys... (1289 more chars)
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It been a while...
(Monday, 01 September 2008) Written by earthmama
Labor Day weekend is over... August flew by in the blink of an eye.  Kids are back at school - how can I have a 7th grader???  And how can my baby be a 3rd grader??? My sister and her two boys and two cats were here for three weeks... (953 more chars)
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David Fisher vs Dexter Morgan
(Monday, 28 July 2008) Written by earthmama
My husband and I are huge "Dexter" fans.  I even sent the books the TV show is based on to him in Iraq.  I love all of the characters, especially Dexter.  For those of you who haven't watched it - he is a serial killer who kills serial killers.... (2414 more chars)
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Angel and Devil on my shoulders
(Saturday, 19 July 2008) Written by earthmama
Things have been going very well.  I have been challenging myself everyday, and succeeding.  But I have that nagging voice telling me that things have been going so well, they are bound to get bad again. The devil on my shoulder is... (1924 more chars)
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Move next summer
(Saturday, 28 June 2008) Written by earthmama
So when we entered the Army (yes, I said we) 14 years ago, the game was played a certain way.  You would move every 2-3 years.  Every other move would be overseas to Germany or Panama or Korea.  For an officer, this was your time line - officer... (2122 more chars)
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A year ago...
(Thursday, 19 June 2008) Written by earthmama
A year ago we had found a house, said goodbye to our friends in Kansas, and started on our big cross country adventure.  While I have wonderful memories, it was a time filled with so much anxiety - I couldn't let my husband out of my sight.  And... (1473 more chars)
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8 months down....
(Tuesday, 27 May 2008) Written by earthmama
So, 8 months down.   I have to say it has been much different than I thought it would be.  I miss my best friend everyday.  I have it better than most..he is in a relatively safe area and maybe travels once a month.  We have pret... (524 more chars)
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Supermom!
(Wednesday, 21 May 2008) Written by earthmama
I put up a 48in by 16 foot swimming pool last night - having to take breaks for the massive THUNDER storm!  I had images of me getting struck by lightening while I was stretching out the bottom!   The boys and I started way too lat... (37 more chars)
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I need some R&R from R&R!
(Wednesday, 07 May 2008) Written by earthmama
My hubby left on Monday and is back "home" in Iraq.  We had a great visit.  Did a little bit of everything, yard work, traveling, watching TV, snuggling, time with the kiddos, time alone, talking listening, and lots of eating!  Reconnecting wit... (1448 more chars)
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Home from the funeral
(Sunday, 06 April 2008) Written by earthmama
What a week.... When we last saw our heroine, she was just returning from a weekend in Myrtle Beach.... The boys went to school on Monday while I ran around, getting packed, tying up loose ends.  We flew out on Tuesday morning - 3 f... (1972 more chars)
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My head is spinning
(Sunday, 30 March 2008) Written by earthmama
Things have been super crazy. The beginning of the month my dad had surgery to remove a tumor in his prostate - they live in CA and I am in NC, so I wasn't able to help.  The same day, my grandpa was admitted to the hospital.   ... (430 more chars)
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One year since things got BAD
(Wednesday, 19 March 2008) Written by earthmama
A year ago this week is when things got really bad for me. Things had been building for a while, but that week, it was like a switch was flipped and the  anxiety and depression oozed over me, tainting everything I did. A year later,... (703 more chars)
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Trying to take it all in...
(Monday, 10 March 2008) Written by earthmama
Personally, things are going well for myself.    I am volunteering, and deriving a tremendous amount of joy from time spent with kids.  My boys are doing quite well.  I couldn't be more proud of them.  Here are t he things that... (2108 more chars)
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expanding my bubble of safety
(Thursday, 28 February 2008) Written by earthmama
My therapist and I joke about my bubble of safety - where I feel I can go safely by myself.  Target and Kohls, my 2 favorite stores are just beyond my bubble.  I have gone with friends (them driving and me driving), but not by myself.   ... (616 more chars)
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fighting old patterns
(Wednesday, 20 February 2008) Written by earthmama
I had pretty much shut myself off from my old life- certain people, volunteering at school, etc. I am slowly getting back into it, because I was unhappy with out it in my life.  I told a friend today, after she has commented that I was sli... (1089 more chars)
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19 weeks
(Monday, 04 February 2008) Written by earthmama
19 weeks since my husband left for Iraq.   I miss my best friend.  I miss being able to look across the room when something is funny or frustrating and get that knowing look from him.  I miss the hugs and the kisses. BUT, t... (1304 more chars)
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4 months down
(Thursday, 24 January 2008) Written by earthmama
Yep, it has been four months since my husband left for Iraq.  I haven't gone crazy (yet).  I have made huge strides (with the help of meds and sheer necessity), been shopping,  flew  across the country, asked for help. I am still not 10... (939 more chars)
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GRRRR
(Tuesday, 22 January 2008) Written by earthmama
I have found myself quite snappy lately.  I am unhappy with myself.  Through all of 2007 I was working hard to lose weight, really watching what I ate and exercising.  By summer, I had gone from 172 to 145, and was feeling pretty good about mys... (1083 more chars)
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Joy of completion (with a little procrastination)
(Saturday, 12 January 2008) Written by earthmama
I have been frustrated lately, starting so many projects and never finishing them.  Today I finished three that had been hanging over me... 1.  Cleaned off  spray snow from windows and put the screens back up. 2.  Put up basketba... (1092 more chars)
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Friday night
(Friday, 04 January 2008) Written by earthmama
Things are going really well.  I am still missing my hubby terribly, but we are living positively without him.  He is in a relatively safe place (as safe as you can be in a war zone), and we IM almost daily.  But I find myself leaving things ou... (1478 more chars)
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New Year's Eve
(Tuesday, 01 January 2008) Written by earthmama
This is the 1st New year's eve since 1989 that I haven't been with my husband.  He called today - no big plans in Iraq for this evening.  I'm sure that a quiet night is much more desired (and definately no fireworks! ) My boys wanted to h... (1276 more chars)
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Success on a plane
(Friday, 28 December 2007) Written by earthmama
I am celebrating.  I did something that I have done before, but thought I would never do again. I flew from NC to CA with my two boys for Christmas.  All the flights were fine - no xanax!  I had a few moments here and there, but overall ... (542 more chars)
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Homework Hell
(Wednesday, 12 December 2007) Written by earthmama
Tonight has been a trying night.  2nd grader had to write a story.  6th grader was doing algebra with fractions .  I had to figure out what I was doing with the fractions - which I think confused him even more.  But, after a while we figured i... (1117 more chars)
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December 1st
(Saturday, 01 December 2007) Written by earthmama
I've been out of the loop recently.  I guess when you start feeling better, you focus on other things.  My meds really seem to be helping out.  My in laws came for Thanksgiving (my hubby is in Iraq), and things went very smoothly.  I was even ... (582 more chars)
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thoughts while putting up Christmas lights...
(Friday, 23 November 2007) Written by earthmama
As I was putting  up lights today with my father in law, I thought about my boys and whether they would have similar adult lives to ours.  Will they be in the military or another job that takes them from their families for long periods of time?  W... (458 more chars)
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Groundhog Day
(Tuesday, 20 November 2007) Written by earthmama
My husband describes his time deployed as Groundhogs Day.  Wake up, eat, work, workout, eat again, more work, dinner, more work, go to bed.  No weekends.  Same everyday.  I know that things are going well when he says "same old, same old".  8... (514 more chars)
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day to day life
(Thursday, 15 November 2007) Written by earthmama
I faced a lot of challenges today.  I went to an open house/home business party.  I volunteered in my 7yr old's classroom for an hour.  I ate lunch with him and his buddies.  I had to pull him out early for a dental appointment.  He had to ha... (274 more chars)
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Sick house
(Thursday, 08 November 2007) Written by earthmama
Stand back!  I don't want to get you sick!   My 11 year has had the crud for a while, first I thought it was allergies, then he got the cough, and now he looks terrible, sore throat, headache, runny  nose, etc.  No fever.  He ne... (1117 more chars)
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CRAZY!!!!
(Tuesday, 06 November 2007) Written by earthmama
I love my kiddos.  But they are driving me crazy!!!  Leaving messes everywhere they go...and the talking, the screaming, the silliness when I am asking them to do something, the volume of their voices, the contstant losing of items that I have t... (657 more chars)
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Planting hope
(Sunday, 04 November 2007) Written by earthmama
So we planted some bulbs today, daffodills, tulips, hyacynth and iris.   I am so excited to see how they come up in the spring.  We have a great big backyard, and I have been making lots of plans.    I wish my husband were here to help out, ... (697 more chars)
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November 1st already
(Thursday, 01 November 2007) Written by earthmama
Wow.  Where is the time going?  Report cards are coming out tomorrow for the 1st quarter.  I am so happy that the time is flying, each day past is a day closer to seeing my hubby again.  But I don't know if I am ready for Thanksgiving and Chri... (271 more chars)
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getting my house in order
(Monday, 29 October 2007) Written by earthmama
Upped to 100 mg of zoloft this morning.  Not noticing an incress in side effects...so that is good.  I've been cleaning this weekend.  I used to laugh when my mom would clean before we left the house.  "I feel better coming home to a clean ho... (514 more chars)
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Day 6 on meds
(Wednesday, 24 October 2007) Written by earthmama
I am up to 50 mg of zoloft.  Still feeling pretty blah, but getting better.  I wasn't yawning like crazy today, which I have been, so that was good.  My hubby called this morning.  Always so good to hear from him.  I was really boo-hooy.  Bu... (207 more chars)
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Monday, Monday
(Monday, 22 October 2007) Written by earthmama
Good morning all!  I am feeling a little blah today.  My parents left this morning.  It was so great to have them around.  I started taking the zoloft on Friday, so I think it is adding to my blahs a little bit.  But I know it will get... (796 more chars)
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heading to the dr
(Thursday, 18 October 2007) Written by earthmama
I am leaving in 10 minutes.  My mom is coming with me.  I am nervous.  I took half a xanax and am feeling it.  I'll be ok to drive.  Everything is going to be ok.
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