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Trouble Coping
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TOPIC: Trouble Coping

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#21400
lamy12 (User)
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Trouble Coping 7 Years, 6 Months ago  
I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with my 5-year-old daughter's negative behaviors and I am not handling things very well at all. This week has been terrible. I just don't know how to cope with it anymore. I basically cannot stand to be around her and I feel I may need to go on Prozac to be able to deal with it. (Nothing else in my life is making me feel depressed and I really won't go on it...but I feel like it)

She is always complaining and whining. She does not listen. She is mouthy and rude. She is always getting time outs, losing privileges, etc but it continues.

Please pray for me. lamy
 
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#21401
Irish (User)
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Re:Trouble Coping 7 Years, 6 Months ago  
I will include you in my prayers lamy. Take care..Ed
 
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#21402
ceejay (Admin)
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Re:Trouble Coping 7 Years, 6 Months ago  
I will pray for you, too, lamy.

I have to say that I really, really know what you're going through! I raised four daughters. One from age 7 up to her current 35 and the other three from birth to 21, 22 and 24 as of today. There have been many, many times in my life where I felt just like you.

Really.

And I love my daughters. All of them. I love them more than life itself, and I would do anything for them.

That said, they could also be extremely frustrating, irritating and difficult. And I'm not even talking about legal issues!

Looking back from where I am now, I don't know that I could or would have done anything differently. I was just doing the best I could at the time, and I feel sure that is what you're doing as well. Maybe she is too.

I would often pick up my youngster, carry her to her room. Tell her I love her but she had to stay in there now until I said she could come out. She could read, color, play or nap. But she could NOT come out. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't.

Sometimes I would call on a babysitter to stay with them when they were terrible difficult. It was worth the 20 bucks to have four hours of peace and quiet - I usually went to a movie, ate popcorn and M&Ms.

The one thing I did not do enough of, but wish I had was stop whatever it was I was doing and simply sit in a chair with her on my lap until she calmed down or got through her negative/irritating/annoying moment.

Funny - that is what I wish people would have, could have, done for me. Still do sometimes.

You're doing fine. You're a wonderful mom! And feeling this way is an absolutely NORMAL part of being a wonderful mom.

Love you-

Cindy
 
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#21403
lamy12 (User)
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Re:Trouble Coping 7 Years, 6 Months ago  
Thanks Ed for keeping me in your prayers. And thanks Cindy for all of your support and thoughts on the subject.....God love you for having four to deal with I can't even begin to imagine it.

It's just so hard when I feel this extreme anger and agitation with her behaviors. I am by nature a patient person but that does not seem to apply to her anymore............sigh. I guess I just have to keep plugging away and accept that this is a normal part of the process and it won't last forever...will it???? lamy
 
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#21404
cerridwyn (User)
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Re:Trouble Coping 7 Years, 6 Months ago  
I went through a stage of this with my kids also. I really didn't like the mother I was being.

For me, it took realizing that I can't fill anyone else's cups until I make sure my own pitcher is full.

That meant, taking care of myself:

* Getting enough sleep -- this is my #1; sleep deprived mommy = irritable angry volatile mommy. I have stress/anxiety related insomnia so I had to seek help for this.

* Finding ME again -- I'm a much better mommy as a full-time working mommy than I was as a full-time stay-at-home mommy. I lost myself. It will be different for you, but make sure you have something where you get to be just you, not mommy or wife. Before I started working full-time, I enrolled in bellydancing classes at my local YWCA because they were cheap(!) and I could get out of the house one night a week and be with other women. I've also done painting classes, yoga (still do this for relaxation), walking in the park (exercise is great for stress relief).

* Down time -- I started taking 1-5 minutes of "downtime" frequently throughout the day. When the kids were playing quietly, I would flop somewhere nearby, close my eyes, and just breathe for a minute or two.

Your situation and stresses are likely different but the key is to find what refills your pitcher so you have more patience to deal with your daughter.

If it helps at all, it was around the 4ish range when I was struggling with the patience thing with my twins. So maybe it's just the age? Heh.
 
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#21408
4Him (Admin)
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Re:Trouble Coping 7 Years, 6 Months ago  
I also raised a difficult child but I had a son and not a daughter. From the time he was born, he thought he was the boss. And no one could convince him otherwise. I read every book I could find by Dr. James Dobson--the Strong-Willed Child, The Difficult Child, Dare to Discipline, etc. They helped alot!!!
 
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