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TOPIC: Panic with OCD

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#24158
BubbasMom (User)
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Panic with OCD 5 Years, 7 Months ago  
I have been formally diagnosed with Panic Disorder but never with OCD.

I've always had weird little ticks but it's gotten worse since giving birth to my son last year.

I have a therapist appointment next week but until then, I'm trying to figure out what's going on.

I have a specific order in which I feel I HAVE to get things done. For example, I can't take a shower in the morning without making the bed, cleaning the side tables, and straightening up the shoes in the closet. I can't make my coffee without making sure all the dishes are loaded in the dishwasher, and opening all of the blinds and curtains. I can't STAND it when the dishtowel that drapes over the oven handle isn't folded properly. I fold it in a specific way and when my husband uses it, he will just kind of stuff it back it and I immediately go straight it out and fold it. The blanket on the back of the couch HAS to be folded JUST right and draped over, right in the middle of the couch.

When these things don't happen or I can't fix them right away, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. I can't explain it. It just... makes me feel sick, almost. I can't relax or sit down to do ANYTHING without fixing it.

I don't know if these things would be considered OCD or not but they seem to be getting worse over time. I keep picking up new habits... like the pillows on the couch must ALWAYS be in the correct spot. Even if I'm lounging on the couch, the pillows must remain in there place.

This might just be my panic disorder flaring up. I'm not entirely sure. I guess I'll find out. I just don't know what to do. It's making my panic much worse because I just get so stressed out the little details in things.
 
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#24161
tsuki (Admin)
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Re:Panic with OCD 5 Years, 7 Months ago  
Hi, congratulations on the birth of your son. It sounds like the beginning of OCD (or a very strict routine). My mother went for years without being diagnosed with anxiety and accompanying symptoms which included OCD and her routine mirrors yours with some extra extremes.

I was diagnosed with OCD some years back but have been able to rid myself of it with CBT. I still have little things that irk me but I control the need to make everything right in the world I still marvel at the amount of time OCD stole from my life.

In the meantime, relax and don't think about it, it'll lead to exhaustion and you need your strength to care for your little one. Let your professional guide you to help find the reasons behind your behavior. I'm sure you'll get the needed help you need with therapy . . . hugs
 
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#24239
nala (User)
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Re:Panic with OCD 5 Years, 5 Months ago  
Hi bubbasmom!!

Well I think my husband wish my OCD will kick in that direction. But on a serious note, it does sound like OCD, but you have to keep in mind having a baby is a happy but very stressful thing. Not only emotionally but you have hormones surging through your body that can wreck havoc. Also you are a mom to a new baby so you naturally created the idea of being the greatest mom in the universe, and have preconceived notions on what that intails. Like keeping everything sterile ( obsessive cleaning) and people probably told you to get ready as your house will never be tidy with a kid in the house. All that ideas combined with the right amount of hormones will put me in OCD too. I would suggest talking to a doctor and get a professional opinion.

I hope you feel better soon!!!!
 
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