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I am new and worried about my future.
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TOPIC: I am new and worried about my future.

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#25125
Joe80 (User)
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I am new and worried about my future. 3 Years, 8 Months ago  
Name is Joe. I am 33 years old and live with my mother right now with my little girl. I have a girlfriend who lives in another state and have plans to move to be with her soon as the time comes. I have been without a job for a while. I had plans to have some dental work done this month, but there's something else that now has gotten in the way of it which is why I am here.

I have had panic disorder for a few years and had kept me house bound but I can say that I am 85% better now and I get out of the house a lot more and I was panic free for a long time. I had help from a guy who sells his cds online and he's good. I took his course, never finished it cause I started to get better before I Even got to the one of the cds. But I plan to finish the sessions after I find out what is going on with me now. I also have OCD as well, and have been trying to work on it.

As I said, there's something else going on with me now and it's not mental. It's physical and it's causing my anxiety to shoot to the roof and I have had mild panic attacks from this.

A few weeks ago I was bored, I was tired of watching movies on Netflix, wanted to do something else to pass away my time for a little while so I got out my wii racing games. I never ever let myself get hooked on them but this time, I don't know what happened. I just wanted to keep playing like a kid! I played for about 3 weeks, everyday for a few hours a day. I did take breaks cause I would stop to eat, watch tv, take a nap, then return to playing them again and stop to eat dinner and then play more until my shower. Then, call my girlfriend and go to sleep. Well, one night I was tired and I stopped playing and was texting my girlfriend, then I started playing again but was so tired I was being silly and letting the cars just bump into each other. And it started getting to me cause I was so tired. I felt ok though taking a shower, but when I got out of the shower, I felt this bouncing underneath me. An imbalance type of feeling and I had had this one time before but it had been years and I think it was due to sinuses so that's what I thought it was but I let myself panic thinking, great I am having a seizure cause I am playing too many video games so that lead me almost to a full blown panic attack. I felt like history was repeating itself cause I have always had a huge fear of having a convulsion.

Well, the next morning I got up and felt ok. And went to the bathroom and was on the toilet, I know this is too much info, I apologize. I strained and looked down and noticed the bouncing feeling again. But it wasn't too intense and I didn't let myself panic. And after that, I noticed every time I would tilt my head down to write, it would happen. It isn't vertigo or dizziness, the room doesn't spin or anything. I just feel like I am on an elevator. The floor feels like it's bouncing underneath me. This went on for 4 more weeks and I couldn't get a doctor to see me and the only time they could was on the 11th. So, I decided to go to Urgent care which was a joke. I told the lady dr that I had been feeling tightness in my head and pressure and had some nasal congestion and she looked in my ears and said that they were full of wax. They were so impacted with wax they couldn't see my ear drums so she immediately said that is probably why I am feeling off balance. So, I thought ok, maybe she's right. They cleaned out the left one but had trouble loosening up the wax and my right ear got cleaned out and there was some fluid behind it. She didn't say that would be causing my symptoms but all my friends say that can really mess up the equilibrium sometimes and she didn't even check my sinuses. So, I am stuck here still worrying about it and waiting for the 11th to get here so I can have my sinuses checked.

I have been reading too much crap off the internet. I have read about MDDS, which is when people go on a cruise, fly on an airplane, or a long car ride and get these rocking sensations and most of them live with it for the rest of their life. It scared me cause I played video games for a few weeks and they were racing games, car and skateboarding, and even though my body wasn't in real motion my brain still didn't know the difference. The only thing that is different for me than from those with MDDS is that this only happens when I stand up, does it more when I bend over or lean over. Some days its less, some days it's terrible. Doesn't do it when I am outside, if so I can barely tell. And in bed at night, nope. I feel like I am myself. And it doesn't even do it when I stand up for a long time in one spot.

Then I read about all of the inner ear disorders and was ok with having one if there was treatment and I hear there is treatment for them but people still feel the symptoms. So, I started worrying about having an inner ear issue for the rest of my life not being able to do what I want. I let my panic disorder take over my life and it took a long time for me to overcome it and at least those didn't last long and I could walk without feeling like I was going to fall, but having something like this is just horrible.

I have talked to doctors on an app on my phone all three of them told me that it was a middle ear issue due to sinuses and have heard of people having same symptoms with sinus infections and I really believe I have one cause we have had some crazzzzy weather here in NC this winter. And I was out in the snow the week before I started having these symptoms. And a week after I started to feel this bouncing crap. And I have been taking Mucinex and that seems to help I think and I only have 3 xanax left and can't take those when I really need one. I have this pain that comes and goes from my right temple and that scares me and makes me think I have a tumor.
My head has been off and so I am praying every day that this is a sinus infection, a bad one. It's been so long since I have had one that I have forgotten how bad they can make someone feel. And maybe the video games were just a huge coinsendence. I don't play them now, I have it in my head that I might get sick playing them so I don't play them now cause they cause my anxiety to go up and then I start feeling weird playing them.

The anxiety sucks in this, maybe once I get to my doctor and she checks my sinuses that will be the problem, I am praying so. I want to feel like me again, and I want the anxiety to stop. I am not going to let it rule me, but it still keeps creeping up so I guess I will try harder. It was one thing living with a panic disorder but being stuck with MDDS or an inner ear issue and feeling like I am walking on a bouncy house every day is another.

Just wanted to let it out. It's hard talking to people about it when they don't know what anxiety or panic is like and what it feels like to be on a bouncing spree when standing up.

Would love to hear from anyone, I am not looking for a diagnosis, leaving that up to the doctor. Just support, prayers, comfort is all I am looking for here! Thank you for reading my long story!
 
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#25126
tsuki (Admin)
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Re:I am new and worried about my future. 3 Years, 8 Months ago  
Welcome to PS, Joe! You're in the right place to "let it all out". You have my sympathies and prayers. I fully understand anxiety over your concerns. Personally, I found that overthinking symptoms that pop up for me can be detrimental. It's good that you've overcome your anxiety over this and will wait for a prognosis.

In the past, I experienced the off-balance equilibrium that comes with an inner-ear infection. The bouncing sensations, I have not. One small tidbit of advice . . . when you're better, try exercise as a remedy for boredom. It does a world of good in easing anxiety and helps you sleep better too. In combo with a healthy diet, it'll work wonders.

Hoping that all works well for you in your move. Glad you have Mom to help you along and caring for the little one. We care, so let us know how all goes for you. My best wishes to you for your good health and peace of mind . . . hugs
 
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#25127
Joe80 (User)
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Re:I am new and worried about my future. 3 Years, 8 Months ago  
Thanks for the reply and the support. I haven't felt good all day, my head has been so full of pressure and after I took a nap I woke up to a bad headache and usually a headache doesn't put anxiety on me, but since I've been stressed out wondering what is wrong with me, it raised my anxiety. I really believe this is a bad sinus infection. It's been years since I have had one and can't remember how bad they make you feel and the waiting to see a doctor for this long is new to me as well. Usually, I never had to wait this long to be seen but my main doctor's office was booked up. And like I said in my other post, urgent care was no help at all which makes me mad cause if they had only checked my sinuses I could be feeling better and this be over, hopefully. I am trying to stay positive and hoping that's all it is. I am almost convinced that it is. But the waiting is the worst part of all. Just got to get thru this week!
 
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#25130
tsuki (Admin)
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Re:I am new and worried about my future. 3 Years, 8 Months ago  
Wait times to see a Dr. are getting longer while our patience are getting shorter. Occupy yourself with exercise and relaxation methods. Take vitamins and stay on a low sugar and no caffeine diet. The wrong foods can only exacerbate your symptoms. Really helps to lower your stress levels and start feeling healthier!
 
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