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Need Advice/Opinions (a bit lengthy)
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TOPIC: Need Advice/Opinions (a bit lengthy)

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#24122
NoJackLikeKerouac (User)
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Need Advice/Opinions (a bit lengthy) 5 Years, 8 Months ago  
Hello everyone! I'm brand new to the PS site.I found it a few weeks ago, but was "iffy" on whether or not to join. I decided to, hoping it's a community that might suit me.
I have pretty severe social anxiety. At first I thought I was just very shy, but over the years it has gotten much worse. I'm trying to cope the very best I can, though most days I give in to my fears and worries and just sit home.
The reason for my post is this: A few months ago I posted a comment on an article about mental illness, expressing my opinion. Today I received a reply to that post from a man, that was just short of insulting, though his message was brief. I took it very hard; so much so that I immediately began to feel angry and depressed and began to cry. I began to write back in defense of my opinion, and then I deleted my original comment. Thoughts and worries consumed me about this all day.
I have come to notice that any time I comment on something on the internet, I tend to get negative replies. I know a lot of people will be mean or negative on the internet, because it's easier to have the guts to do so on the web than in person. Any time I get negative comments I get anxious and obsess over what that person had to say, and immediately begin to judge myself through what they said. It is exactly the same feeling I get when I walk into a grocery store; the same rapid heartbeat, difficulty breathing and sweats; the same intense worry and fear. I was wondering if anyone has the same issue. To me it sounds silly to get so worked up over something someone I will never meet said, but I just can't help it. I've decided to seriously limit my writing anything on the internet due to this. Does anyone feel this too? Does anyone have any advice?
(Admittedly, I have those same worrisome feelings as I write this; afraid that someone will judge me negatively. )
Thank you very much for your time
-NoJackLikeKerouac
 
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#24123
tsuki (Admin)
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Re:Need Advice/Opinions (a bit lengthy) 5 Years, 8 Months ago  
Hi No jack, welcome to PS; we're glad you found us. Our members are kind and helpful here. I'm sure they'll be around to reply. When you're ready, try blogging and you may get a greater number of comments.

Those of us with social anxiety are very sensitive. I still worry about being judged in social situations, so I shy away from gatherings, be in large or intimate. If I do attend, I grit my teeth, put a smile on my face and become a very good listener. Fortunately for me, where business is concerned, I put on a game face and tough exterior. Hence, I was once a workaholic so I had an excuse for not socializing.

One thing we need to be careful of is if we begin to isolate ourselves from others. May lead to agoraphobia which many of us have experienced at one time or another. Remember, the only person we can control is us. People will say things because they may have social issues themselves, and it serves them well to be snarky and immature bullies. Just look at it that way and it doesn't seem so bad when you can see their insults as vulnerabilities. Looking forward to seeing more of you. Holler if you need help of any kind . . . hugs
 
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#24124
NoJackLikeKerouac (User)
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Re:Need Advice/Opinions (a bit lengthy) 5 Years, 8 Months ago  
Thank you very much. I am glad to be a part of this community, hoping to find some support for myself and help others as well. I really appreciate what you said. It is comforting knowing that others go through similar feelings. You seem to be more confident than I am (just assuming by the overall tone of your reply), which gives me a sense that my "condition" is not hopeless, and that I can take charge of my life. I also want to thank you for pointing out that others negativity and bullying are vulnerabilities of their own. I know that may be true in some cases, if not most, but it's hard to remember that sometimes. You having said that, made it a bit more real for me. Thank you again
Hugs to you too
 
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#24145
cocochanel (User)
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Re:Need Advice/Opinions (a bit lengthy) 5 Years, 7 Months ago  
Hi Jack:
If you are not comfortable with the reactions, then it would be wise to have a 'time out" from writing on the Internet. While you cannot control the thoughts and actions of these persons, you certainly have control over yours. Equally important, is to remind yourself that these stories or comments are not your reality; they are stories based on other people's perceptions. Perhaps there is no right or wrong perspective, but how you interpret and respomd to what was written by others, is of importance.

In the meantime, until you have sorted out these feelings, I think a time-out would be appropriate if these comments are triggering your attacks.
Take care, Coco Chanel:)
 
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