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Low Self Esteem
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TOPIC: Low Self Esteem

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#21523
Mayan (User)
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Low Self Esteem 7 Years, 5 Months ago  
So I don't know if anyone else has really low self esteem...but I know that I do. I guess being conscious of it is the first step towards fixing it. But I've had low self esteem all of my life.
I'm very quiet and very shy and I think people mistake this as being "bitchy" or me thinking that I am above them. But that's not the case at all. People invite me places and I just can't go because I feel so uncomfortable around most people. I don't know why. I feel like I'm not as good as them, that I'm ugly, that their lives are so much better and interesting and easier than mine.
I have myself convinced that I am unlovable. Again, I don't know why...but I do know that I've always, always felt this way. It's difficult for me to let people love me or to express how I feel to people. I can say it in words (on paper or email) but never in person. I can't make phone calls, if someone wants to talk to me they have to call me...it's a weird thing that's always been there, and I don't know why, but I guess maybe it's because I'm threatened of rejection or their reaction.
Does anyone else feel this way?
 
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#21528
4Him (Admin)
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Re:Low Self Esteem 7 Years, 5 Months ago  
I understand completely and have felt much like you. I battled low self-esteem all of my life. Kept my eyes on the floor walking the halls of school or on the pavement walking to and from my car. The reasons for low self-esteem vary. Mine was partly because I grew up in an abusive environment and partly because that is a weakness of my temperament.

I didn't begin to conquer my fear of people until I began reading the Bible and seeing how much Jesus loved me. It says in the Scriptures that the thing man desires above all is unfailing love. I know that was what I desired. Everyone I had ever known had hurt me, rejected me, abandoned me. Except God. He has always been with me and His covenant of love is everlasting. Learning that during my season of panic boosted my self-esteem. I stopped being afraid I would be mugged every time I stepped out the door or of confrontations with family or friends or meeting strangers or going out to eat or running into someone I knew while shopping.

As long as I focus my thoughts on my Savior and His great love for me, I am able to do what I can not do on my own, live in freedom from low self esteem.
 
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Last Edit: 2010/07/04 23:18 By
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#21532
lamy12 (User)
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Re:Low Self Esteem 7 Years, 5 Months ago  
Hi Maya~I know exactly what you are feeling. I felt the same exact way from my teen years until my early thirties (I'm now 39). Like 4Him said, reasons vary, for me I had some abandonment issues in my childhood and grew up in an environment where I learned to be invisible and never felt I was worthy of love, etc.

I always felt like everyone was better than me and hated being in the spotlight for any reason. I felt uncomfortable in groups and found it difficult to tell people how I felt.

During one period of time, I went to counseling and was on Prozac for depression and it really helped with my social anxiety. But what really helped was just getting older and learning about myself and gaining self confidence. I learrned not to care so much about what others thought....not that I don't at all, I just don't determine my self worth based on what other think or what I perceive they are thinking. Honestly, most of the time people are so wrapped up in themselves that they really aren't focusing on us at all!!!

I still struggle with the fear of rejection with people that I care for alot. I recently made a really good friend and struggled with proceeding with the friendship because I was fearful of losing it. I decided to go with my heart and instincts and trust that it would work out the way it was supposed to. I decided it was worth it!! And it has been.

I really wish I had gone to counseling as a young adult to work on some of my thinking so I could have been happier sooner. If you have the opportunity, I would recommend it. Hugs, lamy
 
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Last Edit: 2010/05/29 15:15 By
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#21534
Irish (User)
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Re:Low Self Esteem 7 Years, 5 Months ago  
Lamy hit the nail right on the head when she said that living over time with the issue helped her a great deal as experiences knocked out a lot of falsehoods. Also you think people are looking at you and focusing on you when they really are wrapped up in themselves is also hitting the nail on the head. Two great points there on combating low self-esteem. Take care.....Ed
 
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#21536
Mayan (User)
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Re:Low Self Esteem 7 Years, 5 Months ago  
Thanks for the replies. It's nice to know that you understand. Hopefully as I get older it will get easier and maybe I will gain confidence. I guess I have to put myself in situations that challenge myself. Mostly I am at home because I feel safer at home.
 
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#23700
ddub (User)
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Re:Low Self Esteem 6 Years, 2 Months ago  
Hi Maya,

My extroverted streak comes and goes so I feel like I know what you're talking about. I struggled with really low self esteem just a couple years ago.

One thing that helped me is realizing that most people have these feelings about themselves at one time or another (or even really often..) Even those people you think are invincibly confident.

Hope things get better for you.

D
 
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