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Anxiety Creeping In
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TOPIC: Anxiety Creeping In

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#25110
lamy12 (User)
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Anxiety Creeping In 3 Years, 10 Months ago  
I made some huge changes in my life in 2009. I recovered from having panic attacks on a regular basis, drinking too much, using sleep aids,and being very unhappy.
I have been in a relationship for a little over 2 years. My partner is a wonderful person and has lots of wonderful qualities and my daughter adores her. The problem that I am dealing with is that at some point, I reached this place where I am unable to feel at ease in the relationship. I am noticing anxiety creeping back into my life.

My partner likes things a certain way, and is frequently giving me suggestions, questioning why I did or did not do something a certain way, and sometimes redoes things that I have done, etc. I feel very agitated by this and we have discussed it. We agreed that unless it was a health and safety issue, she would not make these comments. The issue is....it keeps happening and she completely forgot about our agreement. I am starting to feel uncomfortable doing things in her presence because I do not do things the same way or often in a way that meets her standards. She is money conscious and often relates not doing something a certain leading to A,B,C which will then cost us more money. And she does not have issues being cold....our house is too cold and I am uncomfortbale.

She wants me to tell her in the moment when one these situations occurs and not let it build up. I did this last week and she got mad, feeling like she can't say anything to me.

So the extra fun part is that this is triggering things from my childhood. I never felt comfortable to express my needs in my childhood home due to my stepmother's lack of caring towards me. And I always knew if things weren't done the way she wanted, she would judge me. AND, it was always freezing at my house and I just hated it. I used a hairdryer sometimes to warm up.

I'm feeling overwhelmed by this and I have been sick twice in the past two months. Prior to that, I have not been sick in years. And now the anxiety is creeping in.......even as I type this, I feel the tightness in my chest.
 
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#25111
concernedmom (User)
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Re:Anxiety Creeping In 3 Years, 10 Months ago  
...to save money on heating bill, I do the same for my family. They don't have any other option but to be busy working, dressed properly or covered well to feel warm. If that doesn't work, other option they have, is moving out. Still we live together at all times except when at work or at school. No difference when it comes to savings, no matter what type of family we talk. Head of household has slightly different views of how things should be done to stretch out from first of the month to the next first.
 
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#25112
tsuki (Admin)
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Re:Anxiety Creeping In 3 Years, 10 Months ago  
Hi lamy, I agree with concernedmom's conditions for living frugally (re: heating) and harmoniously. Maybe a sharing of responsibility for the household decisions is called for. If meeting of the minds is initiated at the beginning, criticism and hurt feelings can be eliminated from your relationship.

Health and well-being is the most important asset in our lives, especially as anxiety survivors. As soon as you feel stronger, consider addressing your home concerns and feelings frankly and openly. Squelching your hurt and lack of comfort can lead to a toxic relationship. Take good care of yourself first. Let us know how you do . . . hugs
 
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Last Edit: 2014/01/15 00:44 By
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