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Dealing with GAD and insensitive people
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TOPIC: Dealing with GAD and insensitive people

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#24908
rainydays (User)
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Dealing with GAD and insensitive people 4 Years, 9 Months ago  
Hello everyone,

I am new to this website. I'm glad I found it, because I wanted to throw something out there to people who have gone what I'm going through.

About a year ago I was officially diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder and minor agoraphobia. It's been a difficult year. I'm slowly learning how to manage my anxiety. Though I still deal with panic every day, it's much better now than it was a year ago.

Here's one of the biggest challenges in my life right now, and I can really use some input. My husband has trouble understanding the difficulty of my anxiety. He often brushes it aside and acts like I'm going through a phase, or I just don't know how to control myself. As you can imagine, this just makes my anxiety worse. He tells me that I'm making life harder on myself, and I just don't know how to deal with "typical problems". Obviously, he has NO clue of the terror and horror of a panic attack. His insensitivity is crushing. I've even attempted to have a friend of mine, who is a psychologist, sit him down and explain that what I'm going through is REAL. I'm not over reacting. It was all in vain...he still holds the same opinions. Have any of you dealt with difficult people like this? How should I respond? It's so so hurtful.
 
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Last Edit: 2013/02/14 01:25 By
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rainydays.
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#24909
Nickmasters (User)
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Re:Dealing with GAD and insensitive people 4 Years, 9 Months ago  
Well I thought I would jump in and hopefully offer you some help. First of all I am a panic survivor. I am a panic warrior. i conquered this demon many years ago. I can tell you first hand and without any doubt that you can beat this. If I can do it, you can do it. I know how devastating panic can be. I also know how frustrating it is dealing with people who say things like "snap out of it" or "your doing this to yourself". There are a few things I want you to think about. I could write a book on the struggles I had and the years of my life impacted by fear and panic attacks. The good news is, the way I got over panic was remarkably simple. Well simple in theory. The bad news is if you don't come to understand what they are and believe you can get over them, and be prepared to take them on, they can ruin your entire life. Are you ready to be a warrior? Have you had enough of running scared? Are you ready to stand and fight? Maybe I can help you?

So first I want to say that panic attacks are nothing more than the fear of fear along with catastrophic interpretation of normal bodily functions or symptoms. What this means is fear and the castastrophic way YOU interpret your symptoms are causing you more fear and symptoms and in turn more panic. Panic and the fear of having panics attacks will cause you yo avoid situations where you may get anxious. For some people they end up holed up in their homes unable to go anywhere. As soon as you understand and except that you can gain control of your fear and symptoms, they will simply vanish. TRUST ME ON THIS. If you take fear out of panic attacks you can't have panic attacks. Ok now stay with me let me illustrate this a little more. Firefighters learn something called the triangle of fire. Draw a triangle on a piece of paper. Each side represents an element needed for fire. On one side write FUEL, on the other side write, HEAT and on the last side write, OXYGEN. If you take away any one of those elements a fire can not sustain itself. No oxygen, or fuel or a heat source and no fire, right?

Now to illustrate a panic attack picture a circle. Draw it on a piece of paper if you like. Shoe arrows moving to the right all the way around the outside of the circle. A panic attack starts with either fear or a symptom. Then you have more fear which causes more symptoms. Add more fear and more symptoms and the next thing you know your on a freight train to hell. Convinced your going to die you confess all your sins, call the people you love and race to the hospital. I did this a thousand times. ha ha ha. Ive died a thousand times. And never like a hero. LMAO. If you take fear out of the circle your panic attacks will diminish and then disappear. So its getting late and you probably think I'm nuts. So ill leave you with this thought. Think about this day and night. Tell yourself this over and over and over. THERE IS NOTHING TO FEAR BUT FEAR ITSELF. Thats the Gods honest truth. YOU ARE SAFE, ALIVE AND WELL AND NO HARM WILL COME TO YOU.

If Ive been any help to you I can tell you more about how to do this.

Cheers,

Nick
 
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#24910
rainydays (User)
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Re:Dealing with GAD and insensitive people 4 Years, 9 Months ago  
Nick, Thanks for your reply! The last few months I've been able to succeed most of what you were talking about. Getting out of the cycle of fear and just being able to say to my panic "So what". Anxiety remains the same, but I find that now it hits me just less frequently. I feel like I'm on a good trajectory. Thanks for your encouragement!

I guess my question of how to deal with people who are insensitive to my anxiety still remains...perhaps there is no answer? Does anybody else deal with people like this in their life?
 
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#24911
Nickmasters (User)
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Re:Dealing with GAD and insensitive people 4 Years, 9 Months ago  
Hello and hope you are having a good day. Ive found that unless a person has experienced panic its difficult for them to understand exactly what you are dealing with. Family and friends can become very frustrated in trying to understand and help you. So maybe its not that they are insensitive its just they have never experienced the fear of fear thing. Having panic will mean that you will have to make strides in understanding why they don't understand you. Panic destroyed my marriage. Don't let it impact on yours. Be a warrior. Do all you can to get over this. You can do it. Good luck and be well. nick
 
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#24912
concernedmom (User)
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Re:Dealing with GAD and insensitive people 4 Years, 9 Months ago  
I didn't believe my own son and neither dad did
So, I am here to admit: family doesn't understand. And since my son isn't just anyone, I had to start learning about it.
That my mother, my brother, my sister went through the same struggles before my son reached their same level of suffering wasn't enough to understand. But my own blood crying and pleading for help in understanding brought different moments to the family.
Even sitting with him at psychology therapy appointment as parents and son together, we still didn't understand.
The contrary to your friend psychologist, my son psychologist was trying to teach our son CBT. And, it didn't work.
So, what's the outcome to it all?
I can only see him learning how to live with that.
It's not fun at all. His life comparing to the guys of his age, 22 yo, can't even be compared.
It scares his mom what's ahead of him. I only can try my best to be there for him as long as I am around and capable. He is aware that no girl is on horizon to take all his, even sometimes he calls it "BS". To top it all of, he's not a believer. My praying, at least, gives me some calming.
Because, believe or not, his anxiety, OCD, panic, PTSD, Insomnia raised my own anxiety which I used to call friendly type, but it's anything but friendly anymore.
 
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