Wow maddie -skip that PM, I just read your blog! What a lot to be going through right now! No wonder you need to be in bed!!  
 
Please let go of the idea that you are doing "something wrong" or that you've done something "to deserve" pain and fear. You haven't. You don't. 
 
Life happens. It is filled with ups and downs. For so many of us with Anxiety and Panic we yearn for some peace and stability. But we get that from INSIDE not from life. Not from outside. 
 
Spend some time meditating and emptying yourself of the blame and fear. It helps no one. Not you, not Sarah, not the baby and not your partner. It only feeds the Panic and Anxiety. And who needs more of that? 
 
Stay away from the thought-paths that will lead you down a trail of doom for the future - of your daughter, of yours, of your partners, of any part of the future. Just don't go down those roads!!! Think of other things. 
 
Find the spring in nature. Find the new life bursting out of the ground and in the world around you. 
 
Focus on the small things each day that make you smile and make you know that you are alive and lucky to be so. 
 
No guilt. No blame. No worry. Yes, there are some stark realities. Yes, life with other human beings has pain in it. Yes, we often want a break from it all. 
 
But none of these things is enough to make Depression, Anxiety and Panic a way of life. Choose something else! A little at a time! 
 
You'll all stay in my prayers - with love and affection, 
 
Cindy

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