dear lamy, 
 
Over the last year I've been reading and watching as you struggled to keep the focus of your life on YOU and not on others. I know that is a hard thing to do, but it is ultimately the practice that gives us so much strength. 
 
When you were focused on your husband, and all the things that were wrong there seemed to be a real urgency to figuring it out, making a stand, making a change. But as you began focusing on you, and what you could do to give yourself the life you want and need -- you have been able to live in this difficult situation with grace and strength. 
 
You have provided a loving home for your daughter as well as your husband and your mother. You have allowed yourself the time to sit with the feelings and the confusion, not having to figure EVERYTHING out, but seeing what you could do in any given day that will make your life a little happier, a little more full. 
 
And now here you are. Facing a reality that yes, you saw coming a long time ago. But without forcing it or managing it you have allowed it to come to its natural place and you and your husband will probably be able to do this separation without all the trauma and drama it may have created even just a year ago. 
 
You have gained a lot of confidence in your ability to deal with things that are difficult and unknown. You have come to KNOW that you are a wonderful mother. 
 
And, you have come to trust in the nature of the Universe - that there is a way for things to work out. Maybe not with NO pain, but with less pain. Of course you and he will be sad, but sadness isn't fatal. 
 
And each of you will be doing what is best for each of you. 
 
And THAT is ultimately what is best for your daughter. 
 
You are a real inspiration and a true friend! I hope you keep us with you on your journey! 
 
Much love, 
 
Cindy

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