Blog Entries

update... not much of one

kpayton@sasktel.net — Wed, 16 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

I just finished watching the movie Buried - kept thinking of Kill Bill 2 and how if Uma Thurman can get out... anyway, I thought it was terrible and I noticed too many flaws. Fortunately, I'm not at all grouchy even after being robbed of the past hour and a half of my life.

Anyway, I'm feeling a little buried myself - in school work. Got the email yesterday from the University asking if I'm ok because I haven't done a thing in months. So of course, now I' [...]

Snap

bob_me3@hotmail.com — Sun, 13 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

Need to snap out of this. It's not a positive mindset.

I do know though, this summer and next year will be life changing. For better or for worse. It'll definitely be challenging, hopefully I'm strong enough.

Keep sane company

stephen@healingthepanic.com — Wed, 09 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

Good friends, wet here in the UK. I dont mind it actually. Can't do anything about it so not fighting it.

Anyway i digress. i used to be a person who created anxiety for whoever was around me and didnt have the sense to go somewhere else. i thought i was awful hard done by when all these people dissappeared. but what did i expect? when i was deeply sick and lost i demnded from people those things that they couldnt give me. for example they couldnt give me peace of mind, but i [...]

Can we leave the beach now????

woodsar@goldmail.etsu.edu — Tue, 08 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

At dinner I reached my boiling point wanted to just get up and walk back to the Condo. I can't wait to get back home and luckily our house is big enough for me to be isolated by myself. I just want to lay in the dog pin covered in dirt and have my two dogs cuddle with me. My absolute comfort zone. I can't wait to see my best friend who also suffers from panic attacks but don't experience them as much I do he rarely has them and our feelings when having an attack are completely [...]

Judgement Day

maria.maika@hotmail.com — Tue, 08 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

This was written over the course of two days at two different Starbucks. This is an account of my annoying and unwanted opinions, that may or may not be valid. That decision is up to you to make.

Ever wonder where you belong in the sea of traffic you put yourself against everyday? There’s people everywhere on their on little missions and journeys. Someone could be on their way home to their significant other and others are simply looking to [...]

Vacation not a vacation

woodsar@goldmail.etsu.edu — Mon, 07 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

At the beach with my family on vacation is not as relaxing or vacation like for me. My definition of vacation is to be somewhere relaxing ALONE!!! It has always been very important to me to be able to be alone for at least three hours a day not being dusturbed. I always have something on my mind and I finally get to relax and think and express my feelings to myself. I go over my days and try to relax my mind for the next day and prepare myself. Being on this vacation all in one small condo with [...]

Flying Today

adrakeaz@gmail.com — Mon, 07 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

So I have a flight in a few hours. This used to be my favorite thing to do :) Now my process involves getting there 2 hours early, listening to hypnosis on my ipod, and taking enough xanax to make it through the flight (last trip was 4 mgs!). Amazingly, this is an improvement. I used to throw back approximately 3 to 5 drinks on top of the xanax. I don't think I'm afraid of flying, I think I'm afraid of having the panic attack in front of others.& [...]

fml

kpayton@sasktel.net — Mon, 07 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

*BIG SIGH*

so i've been thinking about what to do with my life. i'm two classes away from having my Master of Arts degree and have no idea what to do with it. i want to counsel others who suffer from addiction, depression, and possibly anxiety, but sometimes i look at the state of my life and wonder if all the education in the world will qualify me for such a position when i can't seem to handle my own problems. i'd love to be a writer, but what is the [...]

Do I?

bob_me3@hotmail.com — Sat, 05 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

There's a festival I really want to go to this summer. It's only about 2 and a half hours away which isn't too bad, the music sounds great, it's a bit more low-key so hopefully it would be a lot less crowded than the major festivals everybody wants to go to.

I don't know who to go with though, if anybody can go at all (it's quite expensive). I'd prefer to go with someone who knows my issues, I don't know if I could go with [...]

out of valium

tariberri@yahoo.com — Fri, 04 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

Now is not a good time to be without my valium. Is there ever a good time? I just saw my doctor, and I told the truth, that when I was really sick and waiting for my medication to fully kick in, I was very sick with my depression, crying all the time, a lot of panic attacks, which unfortunately for me are psychological and physical, and they manifest themselves in my body ,and this time, they were causing me to feel extremely nauseated ( no, I am not pregnant) and the only relief is well, t [...]

Doing things...

manz.vevers82@googlemail.com — Fri, 04 May 2012 23:00:00 +0100

Haven't written on here for a while, even though I still read all your posts.

The reason I'm writing now is because I'm feeling pretty proud of myself.

A couple of months back I tried coming off my meds and it was a complete flop. My anxiety levels soared within days of stopping the tablets and I could feel myself beginning to slip back into bad habits - not wanting to leave the house unless it was absolutely necessary, becoming nervous in busy places again, scar [...]

Encouragement for you to speak

stephen@healingthepanic.com — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

good friends,

what marvelous resources we have nowadays that we people all around the world can speak to each other at the touch of a button. it is a different world to the one that i grew up in and although i am not that old;-) me and my mates had never seen a computer, digital watch or a VCR. my friend got a digital watch about age 12-13 and it was like talking to 'buzz lightyear' or some rich guy who's resources were far beyond our own. wow iron-age dudes or what!

[...]

The meaning of friends

flossybunny300@hotmail.co.uk — Sun, 29 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

This is another one of these blogs that I'm going to write mainly to sort things out in my own head. I've been thinking an awful lot about my past and my present and my future and obviously my anxiety recently. I'm not sure where friends really fit on my journey with anxiety, I'm not sure I want them to fit or if I should expect them to fit. Is anxiety a private thing, should you expect support or should you use friends as a means of escaping the problem?

I've [...]

Perfection delusion

stephen@healingthepanic.com — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

wow. i never seem to learn the vital lesson that trying to be perfect harms me. i get well, stay well and then for some reason think that i shouldnt ever make mistakes or feel uncomfortable again!

this is a lack of humility on my part. i know that i should aspire upward and not downward but sometimes i just think that ive got there. journeys end!!its then that i realise that its still going on! thats a lesson.

i was told 2 important things: 1. that there is no moving on from certa [...]

debisfedup...Hard time learning to edit to blog

debrabarrieault@hotmail.com — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

I am having a very hard time posting anything. Would someone please tell me why? New at this.

Doing Pretty Good

crochethound17@yahoo.com — Thu, 26 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

I think I'm doing pretty good at the moment. After springtime got here, it became easier to get dressed every day. I went through a long period of staying in pj's. I hate to admit it, but I just didn't have the will power to get dressed this past winter. I did tell my psychiatrist, and it meant more visits.

This evening I went shopping alone. I used a gift card and bought myself a pair of earrings. I spent way too much time deciding, but it was my time afterall. I have a pro [...]

Pause for thought

flossybunny300@hotmail.co.uk — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

Feel the need to blog tonight, it's been one of those tough couple of weeks. After overcoming the issues I was having at my fiance's parent's home, I did manage to really enjoy the holiday; which was great!

However, when we got home my Mum went into hospital for 11 days with degradation of the spine and progressive arthritis in the neck. Since she got admitted I've been going between college, work, studying, 2 trips to the hospital a day, looking after my disabled step-f [...]

Anxiety, baby, and xanax

coronalove13@yahoo.com — Tue, 24 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

FIOJAEGOIAEOGIJAEOIFJA that's my angry I just poured my heart out in my blog and somehow the back button got clicked and I lost everything. Dammit. Okay in short because I'm not typing that out again:

1. I'm having a panic attack and it sucks sucks sucks & building a tolerance to my xanax so I bascially am taking it only to avoid withdrawals, but I'm addicted to it. And I only have one left until about 8 more hours from now and that makes me feel uncomforable. [...]

Fearful thinking

stephen@healingthepanic.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

chronic fearful thinking is usually destructive and debilitating. it leads to a buckled personality that has to bend and shape itself to the constant train of fearful information and self doubt. once this sort of thinking is in place it is difficult to budge. a person needs help to clear the doubts from the mind and let air to the wounds. fearful thinking wounds the person deep down. healing is needed. learning how to heal is the journey. one needs trusted friends who can advise rather than k [...]

Am I doing the right thing?

creatures4eons@yahoo.com — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 23:00:00 +0100

I just wrote an incredibly long blog about a situation with a very close friend of mine. I decided it was unimportant for anyone to read the dynamic of what is going on, with all the terrible, guilt-ridden details.

My friend has a drug addiction. It has enveloped her life, and made her make extremely poor decisions. Her entire life is in shambles, from her abusive boyfriend, to her mother passing away recently, and having lost her dad when she was five, to being addicted to drugs, [...]