Posted by: lovemyz on Sunday, January 23, 2005

 I remember a therapist saying first you survive and then you thrive. I had a very traumatic childhood and its taken a lot of years to face the effects of that, take responsibility for my well-being and be willing to accept whatever help I needed to do that. My dad is a recovering alcoholic and my mom has OCD and other anxiety disorders. I'm never quite sure what is in your genes and what is learned behavior and I guess it really doesn't matter except to say that I had OCD tendencies as a kid (counting my steps, setting up specific routines - I think they call them "rituals" - stuff like that) and I later used alcohol to self-medicate emotional pain. Depression and general anxiety were so much a part of my life that I didn't even recognize them as "abnormal" until I was an adult.

Posted by: Orlando on Thursday, January 20, 2005

My experience with panic/anxiety goes back many years.. My father was a functional alcholic and I believe suffered from anxiety and self medicated. Though I had many traumas, being attacked at age 12, in a major car accident at age 18, parents divorce, etc. I have always noticed that I felt strange both when things excited me or stressed me. At age 18 after the car accident I started having feelings related to panic. Often feeling disconnected. It really came to a head when I gave birth to my second child and was in a bad marriage, had two little kids to care for and support etc. Many doctors and tests later it was determined that I was stressed! I would actually see colors in my sleep and any noise such as the phone ringing would make me jump. I felt like my entire nervous system was on high drive.. crawely skin, racing heart, noise and light sensitivity, etc.

Posted by: mambo on Tuesday, January 18, 2005

 I will be 49 years old on January 29th, 2005, and I can't believe I've made it this far.
I was raised in a small North Dakota town. My mother was an old-school Catholic and my father, though raised Catholic and considering himself to be devout, seemed to me to be along for the ride. He never displayed any genuine sense of spiritual understanding or conviction, at least not as long as they didn't assure that he would be 100% comfortable for the rest of his life. He was indifferent.

Posted by: paula222uk on Monday, January 03, 2005

Posted by: melcaitie on Monday, June 21, 2004

Posted by: littleredman on Wednesday, May 19, 2004

From my earliest memories, I remember being abused. I don't seek pity, but just wish to share. I believe sharing will help me to heal, and may help someone else who has been there. Both my parents suffered some sort of mental dysfunction .Father tormented mother and children and mother tormented children.There are so many memories of abuse, I could compile a book. It was consistant.I believe I not o­nly endure anxiety, but post traumatic syndrome, as well. Much of these symptoms occured after the death of a close friend, then truly manifested into something greater the day I buried my mother.