Hi, I grew up in a very toxic family with very, very abusive parents. They are both still living. I have severe anxiety which becomes overwhelming whenever a family member calls and tries to manipulate me. You see they put me in a role when I was growing up, and the role I was to play was like living in a play and I was the scapegoat.

When I first joined this site last year I told myself that I would not write my survivor story until I had dealt with this disorder for at least one year.  That time has now come and passed. 

I grew up without any anxiety.  I often would get overly worried about health issues at times, but that was the only time I ever really worried.  I never felt stress, and I certainly never got stressed out over anything in my life.  I had a fantastic upbringing, and my demeanor was laid back, cool, calm, confident, able to take command of a classroom or speak in public with the greatest of ease.  I was that guy who could make friends or hold a conversation with practically anyone.

Anxiety, a very big word which I’ve fought to beat more then ten years... And at the end
i consider my self that I won on it and K.O. it from my life...and i am writing here
because i felt every thing going with each one of you and i really care to assist any one
who has passed in what i passed in and who has felt what i was feeling too...               

Yea damn 60 mg.  I started on Paxil when I was 14...that stuff messed me up real good.  Mood swings I was nuts.  Finally I got onto Celexa which has been treating me better. I also stopped smoking weed because I smoked some stuff (which I can only assume was laced) and had a psychotic break...it wasn’t pretty spend a weekend on the 4th floor of the hospital... (loony bin) that place scared me.  Anyways it all started when I joined kindergarten.

I have never posted on this site, but I have read many of your blogs. A little bit about myself. I have panic attacks. You wouldn't know it though. I'm a sucessful college student. I don't have any social anxiety. I have tons of friends and am never akward during social situations. I also have a girlfriend and have had many successful relationships. I am not depressed and I love my life. Anyway, I realized today something that I believe from this point is going to help me and I wanted to share it. My father is a former drug abuser (two years clean) and I went with him to a NA meeting. One of the people at the meeting "shared" a story about himself dealing with drugs that I believe relates to all of the disorders on this site. He siad: