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the promised land

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Thursday, 17 September 2009

So I'm new here, just made my account... figure I'll tell my story first off in case anyone's interested. I'm mainly here to meet some new people, talk a little bit, and hopefully offer some encouragement to anyone still in the thick of it.

 

So my story started a long time ago I'm sure... I've always been pretty isolated, prefering to read in school instead of talking and making new friends. Never really got to be a problem until high school though when I started to get progressively worse. After a while my best friends didn't really 'know' me, I didn't really share much with anyone. I was always worried about what people thought about me, and I really (really) had a problem with talking on the phone. I'd break out into a cold sweat just at the thought. 

So anyway, I'm limping along in my own little way (right in the thick of a nasty case of social anxiety and general anxiety disorder as it turns out, with the occasional full blown panic attack. Here I just thought I was a typical geek) when the end of my first relationship hit. It had lasted two years, and I was 21. I ended up not even going outside for two months. I stopped going to classes, stopped sleeping at night, I had 4 roommates in a 2 bedroom and they never even saw me because of how I shifted my schedule around.(if I wasn't deppressed out of my mind, the sleeping during the day might have actually been a good shift just because I had the place to myself at night... heh).

That was 2 years ago this November. I decided I'd rather die than live like I was, I even thought about taking that way out at times. But in the end I just threw everything I had into finding out how to find my cure. Took a while... I was working on my own, and it's a hell of a mess to get out of the pit on your own. I tried looking for a therapist, but you know... money problems and all that. Kind of hard to believe where I am now though, looking back. I'm taking a new job today... working on the streets of Seattle, talking to strangers and raising donations for children in India. Kind of nice having a job for a cause I believe in doing something that used to be completely impossible for me... and not having it bother me in the least: ). 

I'd eventually like to professionally get into helping people who are suffering from the same things I was, but for right now I thought I'd just like to join a community and spread the good news. The road's long, but the promised land is out there. You don't have to cope for the rest of your life, and once you make it, you'll be ten times stronger than anyone else who hasn't wrestled with fear and their own demons. Feel free to shoot me a line and say hello, I'd love to get to know some of you. 

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Court24 said:

4665
hi
hi, how are you?!
I'm also new to this site, and i'm just not getting
out of the worst part, but it'st still no where
near where i want it to be..
i would love too hear how you are doing now
and how you did it, i take any encourgement
and knowing that ppl do get past this, and it is possiable
that i can get and find.! so I would love to talk
sometime!!!!
 
October 06, 2009
Votes: +0

strawberrykissesxo said:

4692
...
congratulations on the job that took! I'm so happy
for you that's great! I too am an agoraphobic and
I was just recently diagnosed. I really need
someone to talk to and if you don't mind dropping
me a line I'd love to talk.
It also would help considering how you are doing
so greatly, talk about giving me someone to look
up to!
Once again congratulations on the great
progress, I hope it continues for you!

xo allie.
 
October 08, 2009
Votes: +0

Violet Brown said:

4430
...
Hi, I'm Violet. Wonderful post! It is very interesting to read about someone who is no longer in the thick of it, as most of us here seem to be. I'd love to know more about what worked for you, just for the sake of having new or different things to try. Every little bit helps! I hope your freedom and strength continues for a very long time.
 
November 13, 2009
Votes: +0

This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it said:

4975
Thanks for a wonderful post...
HELLO,
I AM VIPUL FROM INDIA. ITS GREAT TO KNOW THAT U
ARE NOW WORKING WHICH IS EMOTIONALLY FULFILLING.MY
STORY IS PRETTY MUCH THE SAME.WHEN I LOOK BACK, I
CONSIDER MYSELF AS AN UNUSUAL KID WHO WAS DEPRESSEP
AND WOULD NOT REALLY HAVE FUN LIKE THE OTHER KIDS.
I DEVELOPED THE SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY EARLY ON AT THE AGE OF 14 OR SO
THEREAFTER I HAD OBSESSIVE THOUGHTS, DEPRESSION & SOCIAL PHOBIA.
WHICH I AM STILL SUFFERING FROM.THERE DOESNT SEEM TO B AN END.AT 29, TODAY, I STILL BAULK LIKE I DID 10 YEARS BACK. I AM ON MEDICATION EVERSINCE, BUT MY ANXIETY SHOOTS UP UNDER ANY NATURAL STRESSFUL CONDITION. MY CAREER HAS SUFFERED BECOZ OF THIS PROBLEM.
HERE, I JUST HAD ONE PANIC ATTACK WHILE I AM WRITING THIS. WHENEVR, I FEEL HELPLESS, I SURF INTERNET TO TRY TO TALK TO PEOPLE WHO ARE SUFFERING THE SAME.I REALLY FEEL HELPLESS AND OVERWHELMED AS WHAT WOULD LIFE BE.. I DONT WANNA BE A LOSER AND WANNA ACHIEVE SUCCESS DESPITE ALL THIS. I AM HERE TO SHARE MY EXPERIENCE WITH PEOPLE AND LEARN THEIR COPING STRATEGIES TO TAKE INSPIRATION.
THANKS
 
December 29, 2009
Votes: +1

panic2004 said:

5075
...
I would love to chat with you and hear your story. I have been a panice attack sufferer for nearly six years now. I have been on medications and been in therapy for nearly the whole time. I still have many setbacks and constant worry of dying. I would love to hear how you have overcame this disorder.

Look forward to hearing from you,

panic2004
 
January 19, 2010
Votes: +0

madddiiimmm said:

5823
...
"I decided I'd rather die than live like I was" i say that to myself almost everyday. i am only 16 and i have this horrible anxiety. and i dont believe mine is ever gonna get better. i could use some advice
 
August 10, 2010
Votes: +0

Emma888 said:

6105
...
Hi, I'm new to the site too, and your story has given me a tiny spark of hope, which is something I haven't felt in a long, long time, so THANK YOU! I'd love to hear from other people so that we can help each other get through this, it seems impossible that I'll ever be well again at the moment.....
 
November 05, 2010
Votes: +0

Raederle said:

6206
I didn't want to leave the house either, for years, actually
I can relate to not going outdoors. For years of my life while attending school I didn't go ANYWHERE besides school. I was terrified of leaving the house to do anything. I was afraid I'd get sick, or encounter a situation that I couldn't handle, or that I'd come home covered in bug bites, or that people would tease me for something.

I used to get very dizzy on a regular basis, as well as suddenly feel short of breath, or pains in the center of my chest (within my heart, as I have come to understand.) These symptoms were often in combination with "stitches" in my side (sharp pains running through the sides, somewhat forward from the direct middle of my sides).

When I told my mom about some of these symptoms she became very concerned. I told her about it at length at the age of nine. She told me that chest pains could be very serious, and that if I ever felt them I should sit down immediately and calm my breathing. She told me that if I didn't, it was possible that I could die (depending, of course, on what the pains meant.)

I grew up believing more and more firmly that I had a serious disease that I would die from at a young age. Around the age of eleven my mom began to suspect I had lupus, but the doctors wouldn't credit her theory.

At the age of sixteen I told my mother that I didn't really believe I'd live past the age of twenty-seven. The number "felt like" it had "significance," and I believed that feeling meant I would die at that age. Secretly I hoped that meant that I would find prince charming at that age, because after-all, that would be a much more enjoyable outcome even it meant waiting so many years for it to happen.

As it turns out, when I began to change my diet at the age of sixteen many of the symptoms began to go away. The dizziness came less often, and the splitting headaches began to lessen, the side pains lessened. I became encouraged to do more food research to see if I could eliminate some of my symptoms. Today, after six years of altering my diet in stages (based on more and more continual research on a nearly daily basis for several of those years), I never randomly feel dizzy. My heart doesn't just begin to hurt out of no where anymore. I don't suddenly feel like I can't breath anymore. As well as many other issues I used to have dissipating.

This leads me to believe that many other people with "panic attacks" could be cured the same way I was. I wrote more about it here: http://reallyrawraederle.blogs...tacks.html
 
December 01, 2010 | url
Votes: +0

cremativa said:

6275
...
well, what i can tell you for sure is that cv writer might be the perfect one to deal with
 
December 27, 2010
Votes: +0

ghaznavi1 said:

6371
hi guys . i wonna tell u some best thing .
i am hammad from pakistan . i had my first panic attack 4 months ago . in this 4 months i went outside went to university and everywhere i want to . i am very damn scared of and fully depressed . i even get 3 to 5 panic attack daily and i dont know how to get rid of it . i prayed a lot i surf internet also but all was waste . one day i make a friend who was also having panic attack who advised me with a best book ever named panic away . i think u heard of it also . i n that book it was written that when u feel afraid your own body security system activates to save u (abdomen tightining . chest tightiningand other systumns u r aware of it)
now here the story changed me .
8 days ago i applied the technique of that book which says the one move technique.
one move technique is a natural way of getting away from fear and all that stupid stuff .
in this technique just call your fear and embrace it . dont tag it good or bad first just let it come . when it comes closely to u just demand more . this more is something new for u ,and also new for me first . when u call for more your fear will be gone in a second and your body starts relaxing immediately . little fear arise but dont react on any of the feelings . remember dont react just embrace and orserve it . when it come and starts just demand for more even say loud . this more is something which your fear is not able to deliver and it gone . try it .
 
January 27, 2011
Votes: +1
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