Wednesday, 08 April 2009 |
I have never posted on this site, but I have read many of your blogs. A little bit about myself. I have panic attacks. You wouldn't know it though. I'm a sucessful college student. I don't have any social anxiety. I have tons of friends and am never akward during social situations. I also have a girlfriend and have had many successful relationships. I am not depressed and I love my life. Anyway, I realized today something that I believe from this point is going to help me and I wanted to share it. My father is a former drug abuser (two years clean) and I went with him to a NA meeting. One of the people at the meeting "shared" a story about himself dealing with drugs that I believe relates to all of the disorders on this site. He siad:
"I'm a successful doctor who has three kids and beautiful wife. I am a drug addict. There was a time when I realized something and I want to share it with you. It was during the summer and I was going to florida with my family for two weeks on paid vacation. The night before we left I was packing my suitcase and I went to check my "stash" and I realized that I wasn't going to have enough "stuff" to last me through the vacation. I then realized that my vacation was going to suck. I didn't even want to go anymore! I thought to myself how the hell am I going to last 2 weeks without being high? Then I realized something. I asked myself: forget the next two weeks...how am I going to get enough "stuff" to keep myself high for the rest of my life! I will never have enough! One pill is too much and 1000 is not enough..."
Today I realized what importance this drug abuser's story has to us. See I'm always worried about having a panic attack. I was prescribed Xanax although I rarely use it. I worry from day to day whether or not I'm going to have a panic attack and freak out. I always think ahead, if I can just get through this week things will be less stressful and I probabaly won't have one. Then I get through the week and I'm worried about the next week. I'm always looking ahead for a "better time" where I won't have panic attacks. What I realized is that there is never going to be a time where it's going to be easy. I might be able to get through this week without having one, and maybe the next week. But then what? Then what about the rest of my life? I'm tired of being a slave to these attacks! I refuse to go through my whole life having them! I want to enjoy my life! I'm 20 years old I have so much time left on this planet! There is always going to be something that could trigger my attacks. Avoidence will only temprorly help solve the probelm! I need to attack the panic head on. We are normal humans! WE CAN live a fullfilling life without Anxiety or PANIC. Thoughts cause feelings. Attitudes affect our body.
Do you want life or panic?
Trackback(0)
|
Last Updated ( Monday, 13 April 2009 )
|