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More Survivor Stories Surviving in the Storm
Surviving in the Storm |
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| Tuesday, 14 October 2008 | |||||||||
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I have developed Panic Disorder in February of 2008 out of the blue. I was sitting at work and was hit with a panic attack so intense that I had my co-workers call an ambulance and my family. My husband was on the floor in the middle of the department I was working in with his hands laid on me, praying like he is was in the middle of church instead. I truly thought that when I left that building that I would be dead. My heart was racing at 180 beats per minute. My blood pressure was 200 over 165 which is very high for me. Everything around me was black and closing in fast. What wasn't black was swooning. My chest was so tight, I could barely breathe, and it hurt so bad that I thought for sure my heart was bursting wide open. Upon reaching the ER, I was placed in a room and given all the standard heart attack and stroke tests. This was all happening next to a very thin wall. On the other side of the wall, a 23 year old father of two had been right after me and there was a struggle going on to save his life. He had accidently overdosed on asthma medication at home. The struggle was loud and clear and it was all I could concentrate on even though my nurses and my paramedics were trying very hard to get my mind away from there. Finally, the room next door became quiet....and then came the blood piercing scream followed by the most heart wrenching wailing I have ever heard in my life. This young father and husband had lost his battle. I was immediately overcome with another major panic attack as well as this terrible feeling of grief for this poor woman and her children. So, I was now crying and praying as well as continuing to believe that I, myself, was dying, too. The doctor came in quickly and began assessing me and decided it would be best to whisk me off to CT and X-ray. Upon leaving there, I was moved to a room at the other end of the ER where it was much more quiet and began to calm down a tad. The doc soon came in and I was given meds to continue the calming process and I finally began to feel like I was going to live. I was thrilled when the tests finally revealed that all was well but was concerned that something had "cracked" in my brain and perhaps I was now headed down a bit more "crazy" road. My mother came in at around this point, in tears and a bit on the panicked side herself. She had just been at the other end of the ER and heard the wailing (not realizing I had been moved) and feared the worst. What a day this was turning out to be. Finally, I was sent home but continued to have panic attacks over and over and over all week. Ended up in the ER by ambulance six times in five days. They finally just basically drugged me to the point of oblivion and let my body and mind rest for a while. When we backed the meds off, I started having panic attacks again and was sent to a psychiatrist who immediately assumed I was bipolar because I was so tearful and frustrated. He sent me home with a pile of prescriptions that then sent me back to oblivion for the next couple of months until I could not take them anymore. I began to back them off. Panic attacks started again. The shrink gave me more biploar meds and sent me home. These made me sick and I got sicker and sicker by the day until I was bleeding from my ears. I was also rapidly sinking into deep depression because I did not believe that I was bipolar. My husband finally had enough, went with me to the shrink and tried to tell him this was not going well. The man ignored us and RAISED my medication even more. My husband came home, threw all the meds out, began to pray and then called our family doctor and explained the situation. My family doctor moved me to a psychologist who recommended just a low dose of Cymbalta to help me feel better and a very low dose of Xanax (which I take every four hours) to keep the panic attacks at bay while we work on what is happening. I have only had one panic attack since and I am living a normal life again. I love to see my psychologist. He is a Christian and is very happy to allow God to work with us on finding out what is happening. The Lord is on my side in this one and I have a whole host of friends, family, and church family who are being very supportive. I still deal with some pretty intense anxiety and believe I am probably a bit OCD as well. I have good days and I have bad but I know I will make it. Thank you, Jesus, for your precious blood to cover me daily and keep me protected from the enemy!
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Reckals
said:
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... You definitely went through a few rings of fire on this one, but I'm glad to hear you came out on the other side so well! Cheers! |
4Him
said:
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... My first big panic attack landed me on my back on my bathroom floor and left me feeling like my life was being sucked out of me. I could feel the strength leaving my body. I cried out, "Jesus, save me!" because I thought I was going to die. I've posted the Bible verses that helped stop my panic attacks in the Help, Inspiration forum. God is bigger than panic. I didn't know that back in 2002, but I'm here to tell you, He is!!! |
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