I am so frustrated right now.  SO my husband could not work out his differences with my mom and she left and we have no one to watch my daughter.  He finagled a ridiculous work schedule and proposed it to me so I would feel better that he was unwilling to work out the problems and keep her on to watch Ashley.  I tried to tell him that his schedule was too much for anyone...let alone someone suffering with bipolar....but he knows best and said once my mom left he would have so much less stress.  I tried to warn him that caring for a 3 year old is very demanding and stressful and his work schedule was ridiculous.....but nooooooooooooooo.  He wants to do it and ef everyone else.

 So it has been a week and a half with his new schedule.  So far he has had a breakdown at the grocery store and my 12 year old stepdaughter had to walk my daughter home while the store gave my husband food/water and wanted to call an ambulance.  The next two days he was so weak and tired and wanted me to stay home from work.  Last night he put my daughter on the phone and one of my coworkers got the call.  My husband was on the floor and was so weak he could barely move.  He recovered after 15 minutes.  And today he went to the doctor and got blood work done because he is convinced he is experiencing exhaustion.  He refused to have his mother come over to help him and wanted me to stay home.

I cannot deal with this everyday.  It is apparent he is not capable of caring for Ashley with this schedule.  I am contemplating taking her to PA and having her stay with my sister and her family while I sell out house and move everything to PA.  My husband thinks it will probably have to happen because he is so weak.   And of course he is mad at me because I am not supportive enough of him and his needs.  YEAH...it's always about you. 

I know my daughter will get through the transition, but it will be so hard to be away from her for months.....even though I would visit here and there.  THIS JUST SUCKS. I am so mad.  I know it is not the end of the world and I can get through it....I am just mad right now. 

Others have suggested I put her in child care somewhere but I am against that.  And anyway.....I would still have no help at home and how would I get everything ready to move when I have to do everything for her and the house chores.  F-it.  I am so done with this drama.  lamy

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ceejay said:

... Hi lamy - I know its frustrating. This is a big transition and really, the thing is there is nothing you can do to make it NOT difficult! So go with the flow! If your family in PA will take care of Ashley while you tie up loose ends, I'd go for it. Lots of kids and families do this and having an extended family is awesome for kids! Ashley is already used to your mom and loves her. She would be totally acclimated by the time you got there. It will simplify the process with your husband. And, it will relieve your mind of one more thing. Don't pile on mother guilt. Try to feel grateful that you have family that can and will take care of her. See it as an investment in your future - yours and Ashley's. Don't focus on your husband - he is an adult and can and will deal with the consequences of his life choices. You can be civil and respectful. But you can also focus on solutions! You are strong. You are able. Ashley is totally loved and she will be fine too! Go for it!! Your last few months will fly by and soon you'll be relocated and moving on with the next big era of your life! Hugs and prayers to you -

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August 15, 2008
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lamy12 said:

	... Thanks Cindy~Everything you said is what I have been thinking, but it's hard to think and be sure of things when so many feelings are involved. Thanks for the support and encouragement to do what needs to be done. Love ya lots, lamy
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August 15, 2008
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scooby said:

	... Golly lamy, you have a right to feel mad! Can you put Ashley in care just a couple of days a week? I just feel it would be more stress on you if she was away. Obviously you can't rely too much on your husband, but like ceejay said, he is an adult - and you are totally capable of doing what you need to do over the next few months. Focus on the end result!
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August 16, 2008
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