Saturday, 26 July 2008
I am entering a new chapter in my life and although it is kind of exciting, it is scary too. My mom moved back to PA after living with us for almost four years to care for my daughter. Although I was a little sad, I was mostly glad. She has some really bad habits and she was becoming a negative in my life. I think I will be much better off without that daily dose of negativity. I'm more sad for my daughter......but she is adjusting and doing well.
I went back to work after being gone on worker's comp for 6 months. I am glad to be back but it 's (along with my mom leaving and my marital issues) causing me a great deal of anxiety. I have been having alot of headaches, dizziness, depersonalization during the last two weeks and several panicky times while driving. So I am taking more Klonopin than I have had to for a while and I know it;s okay and temporary. I will adjust to the new routine...for however long it lasts.
So onto the marital issues. We continue to discuss the dissolution of our marriage and subsequent plan for me and my daughter to move to PA. Even though we have come to this decision and both feel it is for the best...it is very difficult for me to proceed. I guess the status quo is so comfortable to me that I fear moving on. What if I am no happier on the other side. At least now I have the security of my job and house and routine. And my husband is stable right now so I feel I can just go on as is. Yeah we re roommates...but it's been that way for so long........I do want more out of life......it just seems like such an outrageous obstacle has to be overcome in order to get there. I am just taking it day by day for now.
I am going with my friend to see Rod Stewart and Bryan Adams next weekend.......and then to see Air Supply a few weeks after that. If there is one thing I have learned is that I have to do things that are fun and make me feel happy and motivated about life. I also finished a "short" video project for my nephew. It is a one song movie containing video clips/photos-similar ot the movies I have done of my daughter but short...thus the name. I'll post the site when it is online......I highly recommend this for anyone wanting to have an awesome DVD of kids/family/etc.