A year ago we had found a house, said goodbye to our friends in Kansas, and started on our big cross country adventure. While I have wonderful memories, it was a time filled with so much anxiety - I couldn't let my husband out of my sight. And you all know that state of constant panic, when you know an attack is coming, but it never does, but you just sit on the edge...
We got here, bought the house and began painting, making the house our own. The deployment to Iraq was looming large...and I was afraid to go any where - but also afraid for my husband to leave without me.
Fast forward to now. 9 months down, 6 to go. I made it through the dreaded drop off line at school for the full year. I drove all over the place this week. I went to a meeting on post, then over to Barnes and Noble for coffee with some of the wives. I met them all a year ago at the same place. Then I was so nervous, I was up and down to the bathroom, so focused on myself that I didn't get to know anyone.
I am by no means cured. I am on zoloft, bimonthly therapy, and I try to eat healthy, exercise and meditate. I try to make myself a priority. I still have those crazy thoughts, I still have chest pains every once in a while, get dizzy, etc. But for the most part, I am in a good place.
A year ago, all I could think about was my hubby leaving...now I can look forward to him coming home.
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we will be moving to Maryland next spring/summer!!! He owes me BIG! We will have been in the house 2 years - he will have been here for 6-8 months!
But that, my dear friends, is the subject for a later blog....