A year ago we had found a house, said goodbye to our friends in Kansas, and started on our big cross country adventure.  While I have wonderful memories, it was a time filled with so much anxiety - I couldn't let my husband out of my sight.  And you all know that state of constant panic, when you know an attack is coming, but it never does, but you just sit on the edge...

We got here, bought the house and began painting, making the house our own.  The deployment to Iraq was looming large...and I was afraid to go any where - but also afraid for my husband to leave without me.

Fast forward to now.  9 months down, 6 to go.  I made it through the dreaded drop off line at school for the full year.   I drove all over the place this week.  I went to a meeting on post, then over to Barnes and Noble for coffee with some of the wives.  I met them all a year ago at the same place.  Then I was so nervous, I was up and down to the bathroom, so focused on myself that I didn't get to know anyone.

 I am by no means cured.  I am on zoloft, bimonthly therapy, and I try to eat healthy, exercise and meditate.  I try to make myself  a priority.  I still have those crazy thoughts, I still have chest pains every once in a while, get dizzy, etc.  But for the most part, I am in a good place.

A year ago, all I could think about was my hubby leaving...now I can look forward to him coming home.

Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we will be moving to Maryland next spring/summer!!! He owes me BIG!  We will have been in the house 2 years - he will have been here for 6-8 months!

But that, my dear friends, is the subject for a later blog.... 

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ceejay said:

... Wow!!! You are one of the luminaries of inspiration in my life!!!! I am SO glad you decided to blog this tonight!!! What an incredible experience to sit and look back on your progress for this year!!! EM, none of us is "cured" or perfect but seeing the immense progress and being proud of ourselves, our strengths and our abilities - that is so awesome!! It is such a powerful piece of walking the walk and being the kind of person this world needs!! I am inspired!! Every time I read you I am inspired!! Thank you so much for keeping us updated and letting us be part of your journey!!! I pray for you and your kids and your husband every day!! He is on our prayer list at church, for the safe and quick return of the troops. I really appreciate the sacrifices you and your family are making and want you to know that no matter WHAT I may think of politics and the political people (sometimes not much!) I am in awe of my fellow Americans and filled with pride when I see our military men and women, and their families!! Much love to you - and God bless you! Cindy

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June 19, 2008
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ceejay said:

... Wow!!! You are one of the luminaries of inspiration in my life!!!! I am SO glad you decided to blog this tonight!!! What an incredible experience to sit and look back on your progress for this year!!! EM, none of us is "cured" or perfect but seeing the immense progress and being proud of ourselves, our strengths and our abilities - that is so awesome!! It is such a powerful piece of walking the walk and being the kind of person this world needs!! I am inspired!! Every time I read you I am inspired!! Thank you so much for keeping us updated and letting us be part of your journey!!! I pray for you and your kids and your husband every day!! He is on our prayer list at church, for the safe and quick return of the troops. I really appreciate the sacrifices you and your family are making and want you to know that no matter WHAT I may think of politics and the political people (sometimes not much!) I am in awe of my fellow Americans and filled with pride when I see our military men and women, and their families!! Much love to you - and God bless you! Cindy

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June 19, 2008
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maddie said:

... You never cease to bring a smile to my face. I know that there are down times, but your courage and sense of humour shine through every blog you write. You take the knocks on the chin & get up not fighting, but living a more enriched life each time. As Cindy says, you really are an inspiration. As for that hubby of yours, maybe you should meet him off the plane with a paintbrush for the Maryland house! You remain in my prayers.

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June 20, 2008
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maddie said:

... You never cease to bring a smile to my face. I know that there are down times, but your courage and sense of humour shine through every blog you write. You take the knocks on the chin & get up not fighting, but living a more enriched life each time. As Cindy says, you really are an inspiration. As for that hubby of yours, maybe you should meet him off the plane with a paintbrush for the Maryland house! You remain in my prayers.

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June 20, 2008
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earthmama said:

	... You both are so giving and you make me smile! :)
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June 20, 2008
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earthmama said:

	... You both are so giving and you make me smile! :)
	report abuse vote down vote up

June 20, 2008
Votes: +0