I was busy packing my things; I will be leaving tomorrow for my vacation. I checked my ticket, clothes to wear from the site to the office in Al – Khobar and from the office to Bahrain and for my ten hours flight to Manila. I checked the time; I only have two hours before I leave the Fly camp to the Base Camp.

 
I went to the bathroom and have a hot shower when I felt I’m grasping for breathe. My visions are blurry. I feel my heart pounding against my chest. I hold on to the wall. (The shower area is just 1 X 1 meter. Suddenly, my son’s smiling face is all I can see. “Oh, s*#t!” “I’m having a heart attack?” I said to myself. Minutes passed and I started to analyze myself. If it’s a heart attack, I should have collapsed a minute ago. “Ah, this is the old nemesis.” “Huh! It has been awhile since I have the last one.”

 
I continued to have the hot water flowing on my head and body and talk to myself. It’s just a panic attack. Not a fatal heart attack. And, slowly I notice the heart pumping is gone, the dizziness is bearable. And my breathing is ok. It took half an hour before I feel good.

 
On the next 24 hours, I’ll be on the plane for my vacation, for my son. This hell is not welcome. It has no place. My life is already occupied with happy thoughts and memories.

 
You think I’m done? Hell, no. I check my blood pressure and have an ECG. LOL!!! An old survivor have a fresh panic attack. Remnants of an ugly past. LOL!!!

Everything is fine. Everything will be great. I won’t let his PA spoil my vacation.

Life is beautiful.

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maddie said:

	... Well done Tom. Think positive. Stay positive. You are a survivor :) Hope you enjoy your vacation!
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June 14, 2008
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maddie said:

	... Well done Tom. Think positive. Stay positive. You are a survivor :) Hope you enjoy your vacation!
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June 14, 2008
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lrouse said:

	... I love reading your posts. It never fails, no matter how long you have dealt with panic attacks it seem like when they do come back, it is like the first time. The fear and uncertainty just take over. It seems like you did a great job of beating it back down. Enjoy your vacation!
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June 16, 2008
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lrouse said:

	... I love reading your posts. It never fails, no matter how long you have dealt with panic attacks it seem like when they do come back, it is like the first time. The fear and uncertainty just take over. It seems like you did a great job of beating it back down. Enjoy your vacation!
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June 16, 2008
Votes: +0