I'm feeling a bit jittery, and very up and down the last 2 days - a few too many things happening all at once!

Firstly, we had a new baby come into our lives. I am so happy about this, as the father is my uncle who would have to be the nicest person on the planet.  He is only 10 years older than me.  A couple of years ago he left his wife for a young lady he worked with, who already had a little daughter. He himself has a 20 year old son.   I have only seen this uncle once every few years or so, but when my brother died last year, when I arrived at the morgue, my uncle was already there. When he realised we were struggling to pay for the funeral, he paid for half of it. He was the first person to visit the accident site, and took a week off work to be there for us every day.  A couple of months later, they told us his new partner was pregnant, and 2 days ago, they welcomed a baby daughter. I cannot wait to see her on the weekend!  He may have left a marriage, but we have never seen him so happy, I've spent a lot of time with them the last 7 months, and am grateful to have these lovely people in my life.

Last night the investigating officer for my brothers accident phoned to let us know that the commital hearing for the garbage truck driver who killed him has been set for April 29th. He recommended we don't attend, due to the witness statements being maybe too graphic, but I think we will all be there. We need to know what happened that day, we need to see this man who was driving. Obviously speed was a factor, and I need to know if we can forgive him. I still don't feel that we can breathe until this legal process has been resolved.

I also found out today that the TV show my brother had a part in will premiere this Sunday night. We already have dvd footage of his scenes, but OMG it will be emotional, knowing that this was his big break and he was killed as soon as he finished filming this series.

Tonight we went out to dinner for my son's 10th birthday. My brother's wife gave him his present, then gave myself and my mum a card each, with the most beautifully written letter inside, thanking us for having her in our lives. She also gave each of us a cheque for several thousand dollars. Well, we all cried, but she said my brother would want us to enjoy it.. But how? I would give millions to bring him back!   But I am so grateful to her for doing this - having quit my job, it takes the pressure off us a little bit. She is a beautiful person, my kids love her so much, and I hope she will be a part of our life even if she moves on to a new relationship one day.   She has lost her perfect match, and it is so darn cruel.

I have spent this evening feeling very shaky, but trying to hang in there until I finally finish work on Monday. Now I can relax a bit, and maybe even travel interstate to visit my family like I NEED to before I start a new job, and before this upcoming court hearing knocks the wind out of us.

TrackBack URI for this entry

Comments (3)

Subscribe to this comment's feed

maddie said:

... Wow scooby. What an emotional week! I'm sure you do feel jittery. What comes through your blog loud and clear are the people around you who obviously love you.I'm sure they will give you great support through the hearing. Whatever the result, you do need closure. Might I suggest you reread Kira's blogs to remind yourself how she felt and dealt with it? Watching the TV show will be hard. I'm sure you'll shed some tears. At least your brother was on a high when he died, having achieved the filmimg. Last day Monday! Please do take some time to relax and get your breathe back. But keep doing something every day or you might sink low. I'm going to pray hard for you until the hearing is over. Let us know how it goes. Big hugs Maddie

report abuse vote down vote up

March 28, 2008
Votes: +0

scooby said:

	... Thanks so much maddie. Wow, my fear at the moment is that once I stop work, the anxiety and panic will hit me big time, with no job worries in my head. It happened before - so I certainly will keep busy.
	report abuse vote down vote up

March 28, 2008
Votes: +0

ceejay said:

... Dear Scooby - you're right - this has been an emotional week for you!!! Wow! It's funny when I read this that your uncle is 10 years older than you, and your son will be 10 years older than his daughter. THere is a real connection being formed among your family!! Your uncle was your son's age when you were born! I know you and your family will get through this next very difficult phase of healing. Whatever happens, whatever you hear, whatever you see - none of it can possibly be as difficult as losing your brother! So you will survive, and you will come out the other side. Your dear, darling brother has left so many legacies -- his spirit, his passion for life, his love of adventure and also a series on TV. Wow! It's hard to take it all in! I hope you and your sister-in-law remain friends, and maybe she can either help you with the boys so you can travel a bit, or she can accompany you on some travelling before you have to go back to work. She sounds like a real phenomenal person. Like you! Hugs and love, Cindy

report abuse vote down vote up

March 28, 2008
Votes: +0