The end of the 1st week back at work after 3 months off with pa |
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Sunday, 03 February 2008 |
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The first week back to work after 3 months off…
I teach in a large primary school. I’m the librarian and I teach 210 children per day. First week back after three months off to recover from a huge panic blow out I’m feeling exhausted beyond words, numb and really disoriented at home and at work.
The first week I had no classes. This week coming I’ll be teaching half days. The staff and students are great and I had a lovely welcome back. I have the fatigue levels of when I first collapsed with major panic, the kind of pa that run back to back for three days, even though I’ve had a very light work load this first week.
I think it’s the emotional stress of literally getting your head to make it think again at a certain pace about professional things. I have to really concentrate on what people are saying, or really work hard to remember basic things. It seems to be filtered through a dense fog.
No full panic attacks, but as the week went on and I got more tired, I had more symptoms such as pins and needles in my face, arm, hot flushes, tight chest, breathlessness etc. Plenty of symptoms of the hyperventilating, but I'm really on top of reading my body now and know how to avert the full blown pas.
One day at a time….
I’m considering looking at maybe dropping back to 4 days per week for first term. What ever the outcome, I don’t fear the storm because I steer my own ship. My motivation and will is so strong, I just need to cut my body some slack to get well perhaps after a really traumatic and relentless previous 5 years. It’s a painful lesson to learn that I’m not infallible and merely flesh and blood like everyone else!Weary, but determined! Leah
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Last Updated ( Sunday, 03 February 2008 )
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