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My Damaged Youth.

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Monday, 27 August 2007

Posted by: JessieBee on Monday, August 27, 2007

When I first started with my panic attacks, I was in grade 5. The first memory that comes to mind when I’m asked about my very first attacks in when I was watching Titanic with my parents. My parents insist it was a different time, but that is the first time I can remember. Watching the characters o­n Titanic die triggered something, and I snuggled up to my mom, scared to death that she was going to die.

She told me to just breathe and sat outside with me for some fresh air. I was fine after that.

Then a couple weeks later my parents had plans to go over for dinner at their friend’s house. Ten minutes before they were about to leave, it started. I felt nauseous and scared. This time I thought I was going to die. My parents decided to have their friends over at my house. They laid me o­n the couch and put a cold face cloth o­n my head. All through their dinner I groaned o­n the couch. My stomach hurt, I was dizzy and I felt like I couldn’t breathe. It went away after a couple days, but I knew my Mom was still concerned.

Then o­ne day, about a week after the incident, my Mom told me that she had a good idea of what was wrong with me. She told me it was panic attacks. Being eleven years old I didn’t know what it was, but soon I found myself o­n different kinds of pills and seeing weird doctors. After I was o­n Prozac I was better and went o­n with my grade school years just fine.

After I graduated out of grade eight, I went o­n with my summer just fine. Then I started high school. There was a specific school I had to go to because it had classes for people with learning disabilities. I have attention Deficient Disorder and needed those classes. I was separated from all the close friends I had made and was starting a brand new school where I knew absolutely nobody. The first day was fine, but o­n the second morning, I felt it again. That same feeling of being scared to death of nothing, nauseous, dizzy, difficult breathing and everything else I had experienced back in grade five.

I missed two weeks straight of high school. Every morning my parents would try to get me to calm down and go back to school, but I would scream and cry until they gave in. We took another trip to the doctors and I was prescribed rispridol. From what I can remember, he told me it was a very low dose of an anti-psychotic. It worked, but made me gain weight. As a child I was teased daily because of my weight. My parents said I was never over weight but now I’m convinced that I was and am now.

After a couple of weeks I was taken off of rispridol and put o­n celexa. I was able to go back to school. I o­nly got feelings of anxiety, but nothing more then that. I went through grades nine, ten and eleven without having a full-blown panic attack. Some side effects of the panic disorder lingered. I became anti-social and very phone shy. My Mom tried me o­n other anti-depressants. We decided to stay o­n Zoloft and I am currently still o­n it.

During my grade eleven year I was irresponsible about my medication and skipped them three days at a time and o­nly took them o­nce a week. Sometimes I would skip taking them for weeks at a time. The summer that I finished grade eleven, my panic attacks came back, full-blown again. It started when my Aunt asked me to baby-sit for her. The night before I had to baby-sit it came back. I felt sick to my stomach, scared and my fingers tingled. I got flushed and chilled and I couldn’t breathe. I felt too terrified to move. This lasted for a week.

Since then I have been taking my medication regularly. My panic attacks aren’t all gone yet, but I’ve come to realize that my medication is o­nly a crutch. I have to tell myself that this is all in my head and that I am safe and nothing bad will happen. I never would have been able to get over my panic attacks without my Mother’s support. I feel lucky that my panic disorder showed up at such a young age. At first I didn’t understand it, but now I am prepared that now in my coming adult years I know what it is and that there is help out there. I feel that the consequences of having panic attacks at such a young age has affected my social life and interfered with my pre-teen and teenaged years. I also am thankful that I am now fully educated o­n what is happening with me. I find that talking to people who have the same problem as me gives me extreme comfort, along with my medication. With those two things I feel that I can move o­n and life my life normally and I hope that you can too.
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Comments (6)add comment

cherie said:

0
...
HI. would you mind answering the following questions for me? I'm trying to implement a brief intervention for panic victims entering the emergency room with a panic attack. Your comments would be helpful for me. Thanks, Cherie :)
 
November 15, 2008
Votes: +0

cherie said:

0
...
HI. would you mind answering the following questions for me? I'm trying to implement a brief intervention for panic victims entering the emergency room with a panic attack. Your comments would be helpful for me. Thanks, Cherie :)
 
November 15, 2008
Votes: +0

cherie said:

0
...
Please take a look at this survey and post questions for me in hopes that members will respond.

1. When and under what circumstances did you experience your first panic attack?

2.When did you first use the emergency room?

3. How many times have you used the emergency room for panic attacks?

4. Was the staff helpful to you?

5. Was the doctor helpful? Or not? Why or why not?

6. Was the emergency room expensive? Did this make you angry?

7. Did the doctor suggests that you see a doctor or psychiatrist, counselor, etc.?

8. Or did he/she just give you pills?

9. Did you see your personal physician later? Was she/he helpful? Did they suggest that you see a psychologist/psychiatrist?

10. Has your counselor/psychiatrist, psychologist been helpful? In what ways?

11. Have you ever heard of breathing retraining or other biofeedback methods?

12. Are you open to alternative methods instead of just medication? Why or why not?

13. Who told you about them? Or how did you find out about breathing retraining or other methods to help with panic attacks?

14. Do you think that it would have helped your emergency room experience if there had been staff members trained in biofeedback/breathing techniques to help you through the experience and to process afterwards what was happening to you? To educate you about panic attacks?

15. Do you think this type of intervention would be worthwhile to others who have a panic attack and use the emergency room?

16. How many attacks did you experience before finally seeking out the help of a psychologist or family doctor?

17. Are you still suffering from symptoms?

18. Were you diagnosed with depression after you had a panic attack? Before you had a panic attack?

19. How long did it take after your initial panic attack before you were diagnosed with panic disorder or depression by a physician, psychologist or psychiatrist?

20. How are you dealing with panic now? Medicine, yoga, CBT, breathing methods, etc.?
 
November 15, 2008
Votes: +0

cherie said:

0
...
Please take a look at this survey and post questions for me in hopes that members will respond.

1. When and under what circumstances did you experience your first panic attack?

2.When did you first use the emergency room?

3. How many times have you used the emergency room for panic attacks?

4. Was the staff helpful to you?

5. Was the doctor helpful? Or not? Why or why not?

6. Was the emergency room expensive? Did this make you angry?

7. Did the doctor suggests that you see a doctor or psychiatrist, counselor, etc.?

8. Or did he/she just give you pills?

9. Did you see your personal physician later? Was she/he helpful? Did they suggest that you see a psychologist/psychiatrist?

10. Has your counselor/psychiatrist, psychologist been helpful? In what ways?

11. Have you ever heard of breathing retraining or other biofeedback methods?

12. Are you open to alternative methods instead of just medication? Why or why not?

13. Who told you about them? Or how did you find out about breathing retraining or other methods to help with panic attacks?

14. Do you think that it would have helped your emergency room experience if there had been staff members trained in biofeedback/breathing techniques to help you through the experience and to process afterwards what was happening to you? To educate you about panic attacks?

15. Do you think this type of intervention would be worthwhile to others who have a panic attack and use the emergency room?

16. How many attacks did you experience before finally seeking out the help of a psychologist or family doctor?

17. Are you still suffering from symptoms?

18. Were you diagnosed with depression after you had a panic attack? Before you had a panic attack?

19. How long did it take after your initial panic attack before you were diagnosed with panic disorder or depression by a physician, psychologist or psychiatrist?

20. How are you dealing with panic now? Medicine, yoga, CBT, breathing methods, etc.?
 
November 15, 2008
Votes: +0

Irish said:

106
...
Please don't regard medication as a crutch, but rather as a God send to help you with this very serious illness. If you had diabetes, you would take prescribed meds, correct? Well, it's the same thing here. Also I have heard the expression many times over that "It's all in your head." No, I'm not buying that from anyone. This is anxiety disorder and very serious. It's a LOT more than something that is just in your head and is not a big problem. You can't turn it off and on like a water facet. It will control you not the other way around. Good luck in how you handle this. We are all different and have different ways to attack this, but never deny it or act like it went away. It's something you have to stay on top of everyday of your life.....Ed
 
September 10, 2009
Votes: +2

sparkle said:

4876
We've all been there!
Anxiety & Depression
Written by Sparkle on November 29, 2009

I believe that anxiety and depression cannot be cured by medication, but it only suppresses the symptoms of the problem, and it doesn't get to the root of the actual problem. How our bodies respond is a direct reaction from our thought process. Fears, anxieties, and depression is a direct result from the wrong thoughts which goes way deeper than just this physical realm.

For an uplifting voice, please contact me. I am here to listen. The first 30 minutes is free and you decide if you want to continue on to the next step of getting your life back. You can only gain by making this phone call.
Please contact me: This e-mail address is being protected from spam bots, you need JavaScript enabled to view it (email contact info.)
Give me a little of information about yourself and lets set our first appointment!

I look forward to hearing from you.
Sparkle
 
November 30, 2009
Votes: +0

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