keeping my anxiety under control |
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Friday, 19 January 2007 |
Posted by: lala on Friday, January 19, 2007
HI! I have been reading all your posts and I feel with and for each of you. I am new to this board so please bear with me. I have always been a worrier even as a child, always felt I had to take cae of protect everyone, as a child I always had a nervous stomach, which since my teen years has now developed into IBS.
I am 37 years old and have been with my husband for 19 years (we have been married for 10) I never actually had panic attacks or extreme anxiety until I had my second child ( I have 2 boys, ages 6 & 8) My first attack started in 2003 at my sons preschool graduation ceremony, I felt hot (which I am always a vert hot person) and sick to my stomach, the noises were extremely loud, the room blurry, and I felt the depersonalization feelings and I couldn't focus on the conversations around me. I wanted to get away but I felt scared.
When it was finally over I thought that sucked, but that year was BAD, I would have throat tightness(which I get to this day) and would be so dizzy and weak it felt like I had no bones in my body to get up. The migraines were bad and I had a MRI which was normal, bloodwork was normal so I was told I had GAD with panic attacks, my neurologist prescribed xanax 0.25 mg to use when needed.
I am a nurse and I had many Dr.s that could keep me supplied with paxil, or lexapro but I didn't want to take meds regularly so I went to see a counselor. My husband went with because when I became agorophobic that summer he didn't understand why I couldn't just get up and stop it. It was a bad few months back then. The counselor really really helped me with accupressure and self talk we learned that I had spread myself to thin taking one kid to school in one town, the other kid to the babysitters in another town, then driving myself to work in another down all in the morning,then leaving work on my lunch to pick the child up from school and take him to the babysitters with his brother then driving back to work only to leave work for the day 2 hours later and pick both kids up get home, do homework dinner, chores, bath I had what I believe was a nervous breakdown, and the migraine headaches triggered most of that in the beginning. I would lay in bed seeing stars freaking that I was going blind only to start having the panic attack symptoms kick in than God for xanax and Coke (the caffeine in the pop helped my headaches more than tylenol) and I would calm down.
Since the summer/fall of 2003 I have bouts of anxiety no panic attacks anymore. I recently like last month quit my nursing job(thank God because the bright lights always would wig me out) I quit to devote more time to myself while the kids are in school, and to have more free time with the kids after school, my husband is now self emloyed and I do the bookkeeping so everything is much better, I still feel those anxiety feelings and very rarely pop a xanax anymore I do my accupressure or just keep telling myself,"there is nothing wrong, you know this will pass" also Lucinda Basset (get her tapes on attacking anxiety it helped soooo much). Lately I have been having a lot of throat tightness when I get upset but i remember it could always be worse, STAY STRONG and don;t give up hope,Sincerely, Lala
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