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How did I get to here?

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Monday, 02 October 2006

Posted by: scoobydoo on Monday, October 02, 2006

 

Well, that question has a long story behind it. I was always a 'still waters run deep' kind of child, shy, sensitive, always thinking, but very quiet. I knew from a very early age I just wanted to be a good person, not get in anyone's way, never be involved in confrontation, never pick o­n anyone, etc etc.

When I was 7, my parents divorced. In a very ugly way. My mum gained a new partner, and we moved around. 10 schools in 10 years. Because I was quiet, I was teased at nearly every o­ne, until I gradually made friends. Meanwhile, my parents were using us kids as pawns, and I always felt unreasonable guilt from each parent. Both my sister and I looked forward to our dreams of strong marriages, and children, to make up for what we had 'lost'.

My sister lost her dream when her beautiful husband died aged 34 from a sudden heart attack, leaving 3 young children. That made me even more determined to hang o­n to my dream. In 1999, in the space of 8 weeks, I got married, I had an operation, my husband almost died from anaphylactic shock at our son's first birthday party, and I had my first panic attack. We don't know what the allergen was, but he has almost died twice since then. He avoids peanuts, chicken, yellow colouring, fish and egg. Because I was always o­n edge watching him eat, I developed anxiety. This spilled over to watching myself to make sure I didn't die suddenly, and watching my son like a hawk. This constant tension just made the anxiety and panic worse. I couldn't lose my dream. I had to hang o­n to our perfect life. Bloody hard work!

If I knew then what I know now, I would never have accepted medication 6 years ago. I would have learnt to relax and be kind to myself. I can't believe how much my anxiety overlaps, I have a bit of each 'disorder', which is common. But I do not consider myself mentally ill. Emotionally unwell, neurotic, definitely. Because I am lazy, I need a crutch (medication), but I know it can be thrown away anytime. I have become engulfed in this bad habit of negative thinking. Just like nail biting, it can be stopped. It is VERY HARD WORK to stop a bad habit. But it will end. How soon is up to me.
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cherie said:

0
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Hi. I'm a graduate student and trying to implement a brief intervention program for those entering the emergency rooms with a panic attack. Your answers would really help. Thanks, Cherie
1. When and under what circumstances did you experience your first panic attack?

2.When did you first use the emergency room?

3. How many times have you used the emergency room for panic attacks?

4. Was the staff helpful to you?

5. Was the doctor helpful? Or not? Why or why not?

6. Was the emergency room expensive? Did this make you angry?

7. Did the doctor suggests that you see a doctor or psychiatrist, counselor, etc.?

8. Or did he/she just give you pills?

9. Did you see your personal physician later? Was she/he helpful? Did they suggest that you see a psychologist/psychiatrist?

10. Has your counselor/psychiatrist, psychologist been helpful? In what ways?

11. Have you ever heard of breathing retraining or other biofeedback methods?

12. Are you open to alternative methods instead of just medication? Why or why not?

13. Who told you about them? Or how did you find out about breathing retraining or other methods to help with panic attacks?

14. Do you think that it would have helped your emergency room experience if there had been staff members trained in biofeedback/breathing techniques to help you through the experience and to process afterwards what was happening to you? To educate you about panic attacks?

15. Do you think this type of intervention would be worthwhile to others who have a panic attack and use the emergency room?

16. How many attacks did you experience before finally seeking out the help of a psychologist or family doctor?

17. Are you still suffering from symptoms?

18. Were you diagnosed with depression after you had a panic attack? Before you had a panic attack?

19. How long did it take after your initial panic attack before you were diagnosed with panic disorder or depression by a physician, psychologist or psychiatrist?

20. How are you dealing with panic now? Medicine, yoga, CBT, breathing methods, etc.?
:)
 
November 15, 2008
Votes: +0

cherie said:

0
...
Hi. I'm a graduate student and trying to implement a brief intervention program for those entering the emergency rooms with a panic attack. Your answers would really help. Thanks, Cherie
1. When and under what circumstances did you experience your first panic attack?

2.When did you first use the emergency room?

3. How many times have you used the emergency room for panic attacks?

4. Was the staff helpful to you?

5. Was the doctor helpful? Or not? Why or why not?

6. Was the emergency room expensive? Did this make you angry?

7. Did the doctor suggests that you see a doctor or psychiatrist, counselor, etc.?

8. Or did he/she just give you pills?

9. Did you see your personal physician later? Was she/he helpful? Did they suggest that you see a psychologist/psychiatrist?

10. Has your counselor/psychiatrist, psychologist been helpful? In what ways?

11. Have you ever heard of breathing retraining or other biofeedback methods?

12. Are you open to alternative methods instead of just medication? Why or why not?

13. Who told you about them? Or how did you find out about breathing retraining or other methods to help with panic attacks?

14. Do you think that it would have helped your emergency room experience if there had been staff members trained in biofeedback/breathing techniques to help you through the experience and to process afterwards what was happening to you? To educate you about panic attacks?

15. Do you think this type of intervention would be worthwhile to others who have a panic attack and use the emergency room?

16. How many attacks did you experience before finally seeking out the help of a psychologist or family doctor?

17. Are you still suffering from symptoms?

18. Were you diagnosed with depression after you had a panic attack? Before you had a panic attack?

19. How long did it take after your initial panic attack before you were diagnosed with panic disorder or depression by a physician, psychologist or psychiatrist?

20. How are you dealing with panic now? Medicine, yoga, CBT, breathing methods, etc.?
:)
 
November 15, 2008
Votes: +0

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