Wednesday, 09 February 2005
Posted by: erin on Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Another story on this site reminded me so much of myself that I felt compelled to share my experiences. I recently had a beautiful, healthy baby and felt so blessed. I have security, a loving spouse, and we are building a home right now. Life is great, right? Last summer, at breakfast, I noticed a sharp pain in my neck, followed by shortness of breath, racing heart, and blurred vision. I knew I was dying...what else could be happening to me?
I went to the ER and they diagnosed me with a panic attack. I was fortunate that the ER doctor was kind, having suffered one himself in the past. I took something for it, went home, and was grateful it was over. I didn't realize that it stays with you, haunting you...It took a long time to feel normal again.
Then, another one hit a few months later. I knew what it was this time, but was horrified to experience the impending "doom" again. I, again, thought I was dying. I recovered, but always felt an attack could be just around the corner. It was all I could think about. Now, I'm seeing someone about my fears, which helps. But it's a process, taking lots of work on my part. Hopefully, with time, I'll see the strength it's given me. I try to focus on the blessings in my life and take each hurdle as it comes.