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Thursday, 20 January 2005 |
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Posted by: Orlando on Thursday, January 20, 2005
My experience with panic/anxiety goes back many years.. My father was a functional alcholic and I believe suffered from anxiety and self medicated. Though I had many traumas, being attacked at age 12, in a major car accident at age 18, parents divorce, etc. I have always noticed that I felt strange both when things excited me or stressed me. At age 18 after the car accident I started having feelings related to panic. Often feeling disconnected. It really came to a head when I gave birth to my second child and was in a bad marriage, had two little kids to care for and support etc. Many doctors and tests later it was determined that I was stressed! I would actually see colors in my sleep and any noise such as the phone ringing would make me jump. I felt like my entire nervous system was on high drive.. crawely skin, racing heart, noise and light sensitivity, etc.
I continued through the years to feel better and then be set back by as much as a dentist appointment. I was on zoloft for 3 years and while that helped I gained a lot of weight and felt fuzzy in the head with memory loss. I have gone off of it and try now to handle bad times with Klonopin. I recently was under a tremendous amount of work stress and came down with what I thought was the stomach flu which escalated into insomnia where I would wake up with awful burning anxiety and hot flushes (unbearable) and not be able to go back to sleep. This put me down for two months... and sent me into a downward spiral of fear of myself, medications etc. My self confidence goes down the drain. I found a great book called from Panic to Power by Lucinda Bassett. It really helped me to stop and take control.
I have come to believe that we must reevaluate our habits, self talk and lifestyle to find a place where we can live with less stress to avoid the worst of times and deal with ourselves with love and compassion. One of the things that Lucinda says in her book is that people with anxiety problems are often very intelligent, creative and sensitive people who need to use these talents to help themselves and not let them work against us.
I am glad to find a site where everyone can share because knowing we are not alone is the best therapy!
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Last Updated ( Monday, 19 November 2007 )
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