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Monday, 18 October 2004

Posted by: beaster on Monday, October 18, 2004

Hello Everyone my name is Darren for those of you I haven't had the pleasure of meeting yet. I am currently 34 years old and had my first panic attack at around age 24. Like most of us, I remember it well, was under lots of stress at the time and now look back on it with some degree of fondness. My life certainly would have been easier without it but I believe that anxiety has changed me in many positive ways. However, at the time without any information about what was happening, I decided to create a demon out of anxiety which seemed to loom over me until I began to learn more and interact with people like yourselves who have dealt with a high degree of anxiety. Looking back, it has been a long road but at the same time I think I could have made it a lot shorter by actively seeking help.

One of the things I think is critical in improving quickly is getting help right after the attack...not waiting months or years in agony which I did. Today, I am panic free and have been for nearly 5 years and I also believe that every one of you who read this can do this. I believe one of the things that helped me a lot (those of you who know me know this) is that I made the choice to stop being a victim. A big bright light went off in my head one day when talking to my old college roommate who told me he had a panic attack once or twice. It wasn't the information at all as much as the delivery he was so nonchalant about it. He had ACCEPTED it was a panic attack and not indicative of ANYTHING else. He didn't create the demon. I began testing my health by exercise...(I believe it’s tough to beat anxiety without exercise) it gave me reassurance both mentally and physically that I was strong. I'm not saying we all need to run marathons, but to seek balance in our lives even at the expense of others. We are all giving people to a fault. You need to become a little more selfish to heal. Today as a result of this experience (I don't like using clinical terms too much) I am more spiritual, patient, understanding and appreciative of people and life experiences. I have read so much stuff over the years in books and on the internet and I want people to know who are truly distressed that chronic anxiety does not have to last forever It takes inner strength, patience and perseverance. It also takes an attitude of refusing to lie down and quit. Lastly, one other thing I have come to believe is that anxiety is something we do to ourselves; it is part of us when we're suffering and it is a part of normal life for everyone to some degree. Anxiety is not a thing that floats around and strikes us...we create it with our thoughts so take responsibility....it is part of you now...accept that and don't be afraid of it. Live with it and learn to become friends with it. When you become friends with anxiety, it will leave....Trust me. This might sound crazy to some people but when you are no longer afraid, the cycle is broken and anxiety crumbles. You will never react to it the same way again. I know each one of you can do this and each one of you can succeed in becoming more happy and much less anxious. Don't believe in anything or anyone who tells you otherwise. I am not the person I was 10 years ago and for that I am very glad.

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mikibee said:

...
Thank you so much for posting this. I have only been suffering from this for about 6 weeks now, but am at the stage where I feel very sorry for myself and wonder if I'll ever be normal again.
I read the Claire Weeks book and she talked about moving towards the symptoms and all that, but I had no idea how to do that. The symptoms are just annoying to me, it's not as if I dwell on them though. Now I just need to figure out how to be friends with it so I don't have to struggle with this for years.
I so appreciate some words of hope. The internet has been a source of even more anxiety for me because it seems as if everyone writes about how they've lived with it for a large portion of their lives, on and off medications that either worked a little bit, or made it worse. Your post gave me something to hope for. Thank you.

February 08, 2008
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