Things are going really well.  I am still missing my hubby terribly, but we are living positively without him.  He is in a relatively safe place (as safe as you can be in a war zone), and we IM almost daily.  But I find myself leaving things out of our conversations, they just don't seem important enough for me to type.  But they are - how will we stay connected with out all of the little things that husbands and wives share?  When he calls, the conversations can be awkward - I don't want to waste the call on "business" - financial stuff, kids, etc.  But I don't want to pour out my emotions either, he is at work when he calls.  Plus there are interuptions, etc.

 So, we chug along as best we can.  I show my love and devotion by the care packages I send, which he absolutely loves.  I email a quick note each night, so when he gets into work, he has a message from me.  The boys and I talk about him all the time.  Its been almost 15 weeks.  Longer than we have ever been separated before.  We are hanging in there. 

 I am also missing the physical aspect of him.  Hugs and kisses, holding hands - being near someone taller than me!  Snuggling with the kids is great, but I guess I miss being the receiver, miss being held.  And private jokes, smiles across a room, being part of a team, asking for help.  I can only ignore the kids/cats/dog for so long before I have to take care of them...no hoping that he will get up take care of it.

Ah, but life goes on.  I have been told that the long deployments have a cycle to them, fear, depression, acceptance, then fear again...kind of like GAD.  We are hanging out with acceptance right now.  It is a good place to be. 

Comments (1)

1. 05-01-2008 11:54

I'm so glad to hear that you're in a good place with this for now. I really admire you and your family, and how you're coping!  
 
I had an idea when I read your blog -- what about if you kept a journal about all the things you leave out of the conversations and emails. Like a diary of financial questions, household concerns, irritations etc. Include some of the good stuff too, of course.  
 
When you get a few pages ask him if he wants you to send those too? You could even say, it's just so that we stay connected in that total way we were before. That the stuff in these letters isn't to make him think he has to fix him, its so that you stay in good practice of sharing these things with him. 
 
Or, you could just keep the journal. For the whole deployment. And know that you always have a place to go to write it down. Some time years from now it might be something you and he share together, laughing at what seemed so insurmountable and being compassionate with this wife and mother who really missed her hubby!! 
 
Whatever you're doing - keep it up! It sounds to me like you are an awesome mom and wife -- and I bet you are a terrific friend as well!! 
 
Hugs to you!

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