I first remember my anxiety when I was about 8 or 9 years old. Whenever a storm would pass by, I would get my teddy bear, blankie, find my cat ("Kitty"), and my dog and not let them leave my side so that they wouldn't be lost if a tornado passed through. As I got older, I was still a worried kid; I worried a lot about my body. Every lump I felt, even totally normal ones, I asked my mom.
Posted by: bobbi_bridgers on Monday, April 02, 2007
I am a 34 year old mother of two (10 yr old boy, 6 yr old girl) and wife of 10-1/2 yrs. I have had limited attacks since my early 20's, though I didn't know what they were back then. Had my first major attack about 5 years ago while at work. I was sitting at my desk, working on the computer and the screen started going blurry. I got tunnel vision, racing-pounding heart, cold sweat, shaking, nausea, the whole nine yards. I came very close to passing out. I remember asking a coworker what was wrong with our computers? Was hers freaking out too? Of course, hers was fine. It wasn't the computer, it was ME! Once I realized that, I just knew I was having a stroke! My husband (who worked with me) brought me to the ER.
I've always been a very nervous, shy and emotional person. I remember as a child being afraid of everything bad that could happen. Killers on the loose, tornadoes, all that kind of stuff. About Thanksgiving time in 2003 I started getting more anxious.
I have always been a bit of a worrier. I remember being a child and afraid of eating certain foods that looked weird to me (such as 2 M&Ms that were fused together) because I thought they were poison. Thinking about that now, I can't believe how silly it sounds. But then, it was completely real to me, and I was frightened all the time about dying. Throughout my teenage years, I don't recall having much fear or hypochondria. Maybe I was just too busy with life (boys, friends, etc) that nothing really stands out to me. I'm sure I had issues, but nothing like what I deal with today.
I am a 43 year old, female, married for the second time, with 4 children age 22, 15, 4 +3. We moved to New Jersey because my husband got a job in NYC in Dec. 2003. We lived in Germany before, but my husband is from Texas. And I am a SURVIVOR.
I love the theme of this site as I feel like I have been a survivor my whole life. My mother has suffered for yrs from severe depression and anxiety. When I was a child she didn't have to abuse us physically because she could do a lot more harm with her mouth. I am happy to say that as an adult there has been a lot of forgiveness on my part and we have a close relationship today. I remember as a child having terrible anxiety attacks, also obsessive tendencies and depression.
For most of my 30+ year career I have been a workaholic. I enjoyed my work and was very good at it. But for the last few years I have been working less, and have been much less interested in working. It is like I am trying to swim through "Jell-O" just to get up in the morning and sit at my desk. I think it started with my depression, and now the anxiety pretty well limits my output and interest.
